


The Betrayer's Mask

by SuperUnexpectedGirl



Category: Neverwinter Nights, Neverwinter Nights 2
Genre: Anger, Angst, F/M, Gann - Freeform, Mild Smut, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M, mask of the betrayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-15 19:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19625590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperUnexpectedGirl/pseuds/SuperUnexpectedGirl
Summary: A tale of love, woe and revelation in which Bishop survives the encounter with the King of Shadows and goes in search of our hero… Sennah T'sha'balala is a human rogue and shadowdancer. One of the best. Slight and fleet-footed, she can do acrobatics, contort and get into tight spots most people wouldn't even dream of – but suddenly she has to put aside her rebellious nature and disdain of authority to battle the King of Shadows. And when that battle is over? What of her companions and the people she has loved along the way…? And what will happen when new ones come into her life, that force her to re-evaluate her feelings and face her true nature?Originally posted in 2008 on Fanfiction.net. I decided to migrate here.





	The Betrayer's Mask

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: This story in general is based on the premise that Bishop survives and rejoins our hero, competing with Gann for her affections. I always loved Bishop in the original campaign but also quite liked Gann in Mask of the Betrayer, so decided to join them up in a kind of love triangle. I've skipped parts of the story, situating the action within the narrative of Mask of the Betrayer, but concentrating on the relationships between the hero, Gann and Bishop. Obviously anyone who's played the game will understand ;) I used some of the text files from Mask of the Betrayer in order to get the dialogue, so parts of the dialogue, and in particular the voice over where Bishop is imprisoned in the Wall of the Faithless, are from the original game.
> 
> Apologies in advance for any formatting issues or typos. I had to reformat everything and I might have missed a few things here and there. Also because I copied and pasted it here, all the chapters are in one, but labelled as such.

**CHAPTER 1**

When Bishop walked away, I thought my heart was going to tear apart, and not because of the damn shard in my chest. The problem of course lay in the fact that I couldn't concentrate on feeling lost and hurt, I had to attend to the matter at hand… the gods-damned King of Shadows… So I pushed the pain aside, and focussed on not dying… And yet, once that was over, and the temple was crashing down around me, companions calling to me, blood rushing in my ears, all I could think was that I hoped Bishop had got out in time… the bastard betrayed me. Set me up to die, and then just walked away. He was an arrogant, self-centred traitor. And gods I loved him.

And I woke up… not in the death god's halls, although in retrospect I'm uncertain as to whether or not that would have been a blessing or a curse, but in a spirit barrow surrounded by stones, the air heavy with the presence of spirits and a strange feeling of emptiness inside me. An emptiness that had nothing to do with the experiences of the past few weeks, and the love I had found and then lost in unexpected places. An emptiness that burned…

"Are you alright?" I struggle to focus on the voice, the pain in my body vicious. I open my eyes to a bald-headed, tattooed, red-robed wizard standing before me. "My mother sent me here to get you, we must move, it isn't safe. Oh, I'm Safiya by the way."

"I'm Sennah," I say warily. "You're a red wizard. Of Thay."

"Indeed, but let us not dwell on that fact. I'll be more than willing to answer your questions after we get out of here." She looks vaguely uncomfortable, and through the haze I dredge my memory for knowledge of the red wizards, remembering that they have a reputation for being rather bloody and vicious. This doesn't make me feel particularly comfortable, but it's not like I have another option at this point.

"So is that where I am then? Thay? That's a long way from the Sword Coast…"

"Well actually you're in Rasheman, and they don't like my kind here, but as I'm here at a request… well, anyway, we'll discuss that later. Now we need to go." She starts walking away from me, not looking back to see if I'm following.

I stumble after her, attempting to focus on getting out, and trying a little too hard to not think about the events of the past few weeks that swirl through my mind like fog, settling maliciously in the crevices… and how I got here. Actually, that's a good point… How did I get here? I try to think back, try to force my memory into action. I remember clearly Aldanon transporting us to the temple… to fight the King of Shadows… The Sword of Gith, the shard… the shard! My heart jumps and I place my hand on my chest and look down at my scar. Oh gods, it appears to have been cut open! The raised line that ran down my chest used to be white and faded - Now it's an angry red, healing and raw. I dredge my memory frantically trying to figure out what happened, but come up blank. I have a vague recollection of white and red robes (red robes? I glance curiously at the wizard walking ahead of me), but nothing beyond that. Shit. Actually I want to mutter a few words a hell of a lot worse than that, but restrain myself in the presence of this new companion. Who knows, perhaps she's like Casavir and takes offence to expletives. Casavir… I smile at the thought of the paladin's self-righteous indignation, but then the first flicker of pain begins in my heart, and I have to stop and breathe for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" Safiya looks at me anxiously. "The spirits know we're here now, we must keep moving quickly if we are to avoid them." She talks quickly, nervously and I get the feeling that this is uncharacteristic behaviour for her. "Do you need healing? My magic is normally suited to more… ah… aggressive arts, but I can perform a few healing spells if needs be."

I smile at her weakly, forcing my face into a mask of emotion I don't feel. "Thanks, but I'm ok. We can move on." Yes. I'm ok. As long as I don't think about them too much. Of course that's exactly what my mind starts to do, trying to remember and put the pieces together. I take a deep breath. Damn… I'm going to have to do this now or it will drive me crazy. I exhale slowly, trying to regulate my breathing and stop my heart racing. Start from the beginning, Sennah, I tell myself. Ok, West Harbor, finding the shard, Khelgar, Neeshka, and Elanee. Then Neverwinter, Old Owl Well, Crossroad Keep, Jerro's Haven. There was so much… My heart starts to contract painfully at the thought of all the people who died because of me – all the people I'd come to care for. Casavir, Qara, Grobnar, Shandra, Zhjaeve and Ammon Jerro. And Bishop. Bishop… my heart lurches and I stumble. Safiya casts another worried glance at me as I mutter, "I'm fine, fine… don't worry." My eyes are scrunched shut in pain, and I can't open them to see where I'm going as the tears threaten. Bishop's betrayal still hurts. But I realise that I'm not angry… What's wrong with me!? Casavir was right about him! And yet, all I can think of is his dark eyes and the vulnerable moments when he… stop. Stop that. This isn't the time to be thinking about that. I pull my attention back to the present and look towards Safiya who is still walking carefully ahead. "So how exactly do we get out of here?" I ask.

She starts to answer as we go through another entrance, and then pulls up short. Standing in front of us, hackles raised is a spirit wolf, the light rippling and shimmering as it passes through the creature. "Careful," says Safiya softly, "the Telthor spirits aren't exactly happy to have us intruding on their territory. Tread lightly and try not to cause offence."

"I am Nakata, wizard. You intrude into our barrow," growls the wolf, eyes narrowed.

"My apologies spirit, I meant no harm, we will trouble you no further," replies Safiya, her stance tense and ready to attack if needs be.

"You passed alone on your way down, and now you return with this foul creature. We cannot allow it to pass."

Foul creature? It takes me a second to realise that this spirit is talking about me. "Foul creature? My name is Sennah, and I intend no harm. Let us pass and we will trouble you no further."

"I am afraid that is simply not possible. I cannot let you pass. You do not know what you are, and the destruction you will bring to this land…"

I open my mouth to protest, confusion clouding my mind at the open hostility of this creature, and at this proclamation, and then… then, my chest feels like it is tearing apart. My scar burns, my chest afire with pain – but with that come other feelings, ones not entirely my own – triumph, tinged with rage. My body rises into the air, my chest thrust forward and then a high-pitched keening assaults my ears. Just as it dawns on me that this noise is coming from me, grasping, dark tentacles reach out of my chest and attack Nakata, dragging the spirit towards me until it disappears into my body. My feet touch the earth again and, my knees weak, I collapse onto the ground. My mind is still clouded, echoes of the rage and intense hunger that enveloped me along still swirling. What the hells? After that I would have expected to feel weak, but I feel rejuvenated! Alive, and strong again, the aches that plagued me until five minutes ago gone.

"What did you do?" Safiya asks, looking at me warily and I notice her tense stance hasn't changed.

"I don't know," I say, feeling bewildered, "but I feel, strong, invigorated somehow… Anyway, as you said, we don't have time to talk, let's get moving and we can discuss it later." I pause, collecting my thoughts. Breathe Sennah, I tell myself closing my eyes. I take a couple of deep breaths and open my eyes. "So, as I was asking earlier, how do we get out of here? We must be on the right track if we're running into resistance."

Safiya stares at me a moment longer and then regains her composure. "There's a tunnel just around this, oh…" She stops, staring at a blank wall. "I stand corrected, there used to be a tunnel just around this corner… Well, if they didn't know from the show you just put on, the spirits definitely know we're here now, they've sealed the way back. We'll have to see if we can find another route."

"They've sealed it? How is that possible?"

"The spirits here are intimately connected to the land. We could hack away at that wall and it would reseal itself as fast as we damaged it… if we could damage it at all. Of course, there is an offering bowl here, and the people of Rasheman often make offerings to the spirits to appease them. If we could find something like incense, or meat or something to burn in it that might re-open the way…"

Logical as this suggestion sounds, I have to scoff at the absurdity of the situation. "What are we possibly supposed to burn? I have nothing. I had to borrow weapons from you, let alone anything else…"

"Well there are other side chambers here, we could always see what we can find…"

I sigh… Nothing is ever easy. I smile to myself at the thought. Of course it's not. This is me we're talking about… The trouble magnet…

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After searching for a few hours, and getting into more than a few fights with creatures that just didn't seem to be happy to have us around, we manage to find an offering pouch, and in an inexplicable turn of good luck, an Imaskari golem. Whilst I wasn't familiar with this one, the principle for reactivating it seemed to be the same as the Illefarn ones, and Safiya seemed to know what she was doing. I was too tired to protest, and was comfortable to let her lead the way. It was so nice to not have to be the one in charge… I sighed inwardly… of course, who knew how long that would last. I seemed to make a habit of attracting people to follow me, even when the attention was unwanted. Either way, it meant that we had another companion to help us defend ourselves even if we couldn't take it out of the barrow.

"Be on your guard, we are approaching the exit. The people worship a bear god called Okku, and I am sure there will be resistance to our departure."

I nod at Safiya's advice and ready the rapier I found in one of the rooms, far more comfortable with that weapon than the sword I'd borrowed from the wizard. I approach the large chamber in front of us, Safiya readying a spell and bringing up the rear. I tread softly, placing my feet carefully so as to make as little noise as possible, just like that damned ranger taught me. I smile ruefully to myself – at least some good things came out of that man.

As we walk into the chamber a massive, brightly coloured bear rears up and approaches us, hackles raised, his expression hostile. "Escape is now out of reach for you humans." He roars. I hold up my hands.

"What, no chance to explain myself? You don't even know who I am!" I say raising my voice, trying to make myself heard over the bear king's roar that echoes around the chamber.

"It does not matter who you are mortal. You are an abomination that should not be allowed to live. Ancestors, grant me your strength!"

With that final decree of my fate, Okku summons a number of Telthor spirit bears and attacks. Although unasked for and unexplained, the earlier encounter with the spirit wolf Nakata has left me feeling rejuvenated and I'm quick on my feet. "Focus on Okku first!" shouts Safiya "I'll take care of the other spirits!"

My rapier darts in and slices, eliciting a roar of pain from the Bear King. I dance around him thrusting swiftly and moving away before he has time to recover. For a large animal he is quick on his feet, but not quick enough and I can see my attacks are slowly wearing him down. Safiya's well-placed spells are keeping the other bears from attacking, although occasionally I have to watch myself from getting too close. A fireball narrowly misses my head and I duck, distractedly letting my guard slip, and Okku's claws rake my side as he sends me flying across the room. I land painfully, rolling out of the way as a huge paw comes towards me, smacking the ground and making it tremble where my head had been only moments before. I say a silent prayer that acrobatics had always been my strength. I leap to me feet and I am so close to Okku I can see the colours shimmering over his fur and feel the heat radiating from him. My heart beating wildly, I stab towards his neck with my rapier and he roars in pain and staggers. Suddenly he disappears, leaving me over extended and unbalanced. I turn to find Safiya holding off one bear whilst finishing another and recollecting my wits I hurry over to help her.  
As the last bear goes down, I wipe my blade unceremoniously on my leathers. "Well that was eventful" I smirk, "Why is it that everywhere I go people are trying to kill me?" I laugh, slightly hysterically, "And here I am travelling with a Red Wizard, you'd think I would know better!"

Safiya expression doesn't look amused at my attempts to make light of the situation. Her face hardens bitterly, "Don't judge all of us by our reputation, not all red wizards revel in killing."

I backpedal mentally, an apology on the tip of my tongue, then sigh, tired of treading lightly for once. "I meant no offence" I say, "I was just trying to lighten the mood."

"Yes, I know," she says, softening slightly, "and I'm sorry. I am well aware of the impressions people have of us, but I'm anxious. We'd best be on our way if we want to get to Mulsantir soon." She looks around. "And be on your guard, Okku hasn't been defeated, he has merely retreated and he will rally an army of spirits to fight us. We don't want to be caught on the road when he reappears."

I slip my rapier into my belt, comfortable now at least I have a weapon at my side. "Lead on then wizard…" I say and Safiya turns towards the exit.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That was the beginning… Time passed… Events unfolded… They are the stuff of legend now…  
The Shard-Bearer, now the Spiriteater, and her meeting of the Hathran, or witches, that rule the city of Mulsantir and Rashemen. A celestial, Kaelyn, one of the legendary Menagerie at her side, along with a spirit shaman, released from prison in order to defeat the great bear king and his army of spirits. The stories tell of how the Spiriteater spared the bear king's life, even though the hunger inside her tried to devour him. In return Okku, reminded of another promise he had made, vowed to help her defeat the presence inside that tormented her.

The party journeyed far, travelling through both the material and shadow planes, exploring the Temple of Myrkul in an attempt to contact the former Death God and investigate what was known as the Betrayer's Crusade. They searched for the Wood Man, and saved the Ashenwood. They travelled to the Sunken City in an attempt to gain an audience with the Sleeping Hags that controlled the dreams of Rashemen. In those dangerous, flooded dungeons, the shaman, a hagspawn himself, met a mother that loved him, and together, he and the Spiriteater destroyed the Sleeping Coven… All the while, along with her hunger, the Spiriteater's feelings for the shaman grew, but her mind always turned back to the ranger, Bishop, wondering if he was alive, or if the dreams she had in the Sunken City were real and he was dead, trapped in the Wall of the Faithless, his spirit devoured.

She was about to find out….

  
**CHAPTER 2**

We were on our way down to the Sloop, a tavern with a slightly disreputable name on the Docks in Mulsantir. Okku had looked a bit tired with the strain of having the 'legendary' spirit-eater so near, devoted as he was, and had retired to his spot in the forest outside Mulsantir. It was just me, Gann, Safiya and Kaelyn. Gann-Of-Dreams. Gannayev… That man was something else: kind and compassionate but additionally arrogant and conceited as all hells, somehow in an endearing way. He was so different to Bishop… and I won't deny I was attracted to him, although I resisted it. But why did I feel guilty, like I was betraying Bishop in some way? He betrayed me, and anyway, I told myself, he was dead. He must be. Nobody could have escaped that cave-in… Nobody except you whispered the sneaky voice at the back of my mind… I'd been thinking about it a lot lately, and I didn't hold out much hope that many of them had survived. And then of course there were the dreams… well, nightmares actually. Nightmares of Bishop trapped in the Wall of the Faithless, his face broken, his voice agonised and mocking, and his eyes accusing me. I had it first when we were in the Sunken City and I received another piece of the mask, but although I now no longer took anything back to the waking world except my pain, they kept recurring, reminding me of him on an almost nightly basis. In a desperate attempt to get it off my chest I had spoken to Kaelyn about it briefly, mainly because of her crusade to destroy the Wall, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her who was trapped inside it, even when I could see the curiosity in her eyes. And I couldn't tell Gann, not about the ranger. I'd barely spoken of any of them, in fact I couldn't even remember if I'd mentioned their names – it was just too painful.

"What are you thinking about Sennah? It troubles you," asked the silken voice of the shaman by my side.

"How would you know Gann?" I asked with a teasing smile, "been spying on my dreams?"

He chuckles, his stormy eyes dancing, "I wouldn't need to resort to something that crass my fearless leader, the frown on your face and the fact that I've been talking to you for the past five minutes and you haven't responded is all the information I need!"

I blush in embarrassment as we walk through the gate to the docks and the Sloop comes in to view. "Oh…" I mutter reaching for the door of the bar, "I'm sorry Gann, I guess I've just been dwelling on the past too much lately, wondering..." I push the door open. "And it's hard for me to lead more people when I think of the fact that I was responsible for all those deaths. I try to tell myself that some of them…"

I stop suddenly, and Gann almost walks in to me. My vision narrows and the room starts spinning. I hear the concern in Gann's voice as he asks me what's wrong, but I can hear and see nothing else except the ranger sitting in the corner, staring down into his mug of ale. It can't be… But I would recognise the set of his shoulders anywhere…

"Sennah?" Gann asks more urgently, raising his voice, and the man's head shoots up, his gold-flecked eyes locking with mine. My heart is beating too hard and too fast, a caged bird, and I take a halting step forward as those dark eyes boring in to me.

"Bishop" I whisper, his name escaping my traitorous lips. Gann's head turns to follow my gaze, and realisation dawns on his face.

"This is one of your companions," he states. I could never bring myself to talk about them, he's deduced that simply from my reaction, and then, so softly I realise he is speaking to himself, "Bishop… You call for him in your sleep you know..." This somehow breaks through the fog in my mind and for the first time I turn to look at him, still conscious of that dark gaze watching… always watching.

"I say his name in my sleep?" I ask, my voice straining to come out casually and failing miserably. "What do I say? And hang on, you're listening to me talk when I'm asleep?" I actually don't know whether or not to feel flattered by this last revelation, but Gann has the grace to look a little uncomfortable.

"Well it wasn't intentional, I heard you crying out and thought something was wrong… I came to see if there was a problem," he mutters. "Do you really want to know?" I hesitate and then nod. He gazes at me steadily for a moment and says softly, "You said, Bishop how could you?" My face grows hot, and I'm mortified, wondering how much Gann has guessed from those few words.

My gaze snaps back to Bishop, who is still watching me, along with a number of other patrons who are staring at us curiously as we stand in the doorway without sitting down. The bartender glares at me, obviously wondering if I'm going to cause some sort of disturbance. I can feel Gann's eyes on me, also watching. "Get us a table and order me some ale. I'll be back soon." I say abruptly. I start to walk towards Bishop, then my upbringing gets the better of me and I realise how rude I must have sounded. I stop and turn around. "Please," I say and flash a brief smile at my new companions who are watching their leader's strange behaviour with anxious expressions.

I walk towards his table, Bishop still watching me. He hasn't moved since I walked in and he watches me silently as I approach, our eyes locked. I sit down uninvited opposite him. He says nothing and I take in his face, gazing for a moment at the new, angry, scar that runs down the left side, from temple to jaw line. Without thinking I reach out to touch it, and he flinches away, glaring at me, anger filling his eyes. I drop my hand, and remember how self-conscious he always seemed to make me.

"Come to kill me Sennah?" he hisses, "To finish what you started?" He gestures to the scar.

"I gave you that?" I murmur, "I don't remember…" I realise I'd somehow forgotten about that anger inside him that always sat just below the surface, ready to explode in a barrage of sarcasm and mockery.

Bishop smirks. "Along with a number of others."

"Well you can't say you didn't deserve it Bishop, after what you did. And I distinctly remember asking you to walk away…" I say calmly, much more so than I feel. He flinches as I say his name for the first time, and I notice a flicker of something I didn't expect to see in his eyes. Shame. But this is Bishop, and that emotion is covered up as quickly as it appeared, his face hardening back into its usual mocking expression. For a brief moment I wonder if I imagined it. He glances at where my companions sit, a few tables away, taking in their appearances, in particular the unusually beautiful countenance of the hagspawn shaman that is watching us silently, ignoring the poor attempts at conversation from Kaelyn and Safiya.

"So I see you've attracted a new following. What's the crusade to get everyone killed this time?"

He glares at me, challenging me, watching to see if I'll react to his jibe. Honestly, the pain of his words strikes deep, but I school my expression to be calm as I say, "No small talk then? Hi, Bishop, how are you? I see you escaped the crashing temple of shadows you left me to die in…" My eyes narrow. "Well if that's the case I'll get right to the point… Without trying to sound melodramatic, I'm dying Bishop." His expression flickers briefly as I continue, but I can't tell if it's concern, interest or scorn – knowing him it could be all three. "I won't bore you with the gory details, but to summarize, I was… taken… from the temple when it collapsed, the shard removed from my chest," I pull back the collar of my shirt to reveal the new, angry scar and feel a small thrill at the fact that Bishop's eyes linger there longer than necessary. "I awoke in some kind of stone circle and I have become what the Rashemi call a 'spirit-eater'. I have to feed on spirits every so often," I grimace in distaste at the thought, "or suppress the urge in order to keep myself alive." I close my eyes, and take a deep breath. Keeping them closed I laugh softly and say, "I know. It's completely crazy, trouble seems to follow me everywhere, but if I don't find a cure, then not only will I go insane and kill myself, but probably a number of other people as well. The others are with me for their own reasons, not because they follow me, but because they are all on their own quests and we're helping each other." It's a small untruth, but partially accurate I justify. Except perhaps for Gann, a voice whispers in my head, he's with you because you busted him out of prison. And really, do you believe that? You think they're just with you out of convenience? That you're not going to get all of them killed too? Either way I can't admit to him that I've attracted a new band of followers…

I open my eyes as Bishop smirks, and his voice comes out hard as he says, "So why don't I just kill you right now and save everyone the trouble?"

"Do you want to become a spirit-eater too Bishop?" I hiss, leaning forward, "because that's what happens when you kill one, the sickness… the curse… the presence inside me… goes into you and eventually you go insane." He seems unfazed by my outburst. I lean back and gaze at him, anger simmering below the surface. "Actually you probably would like that. You could blame everything on something other than yourself, and still go around killing people, I'm sure you would enjoy that!" I say scornfully.

Bishop's face transforms, a number of emotions flickering across his dark eyes as his lip curls back, halfway between a grimace of pain and a sneer. "Act all high and mighty if you want, but you don't know me like you think you do Sennah. I followed you because I had a debt to repay and then I did because I loved you and I betrayed you for the same reason." A look of pain passes over his features. "I hoped desperately that you would just leave this whole King of Shadows business and walk away with me! I watched you even after I sabotaged the gate and left Crossroad Keep, hoping, for some bizarre reason, that you would leave and I would be able to find you. But no! You had to go on, leading everyone into danger. If you had just left with me when I asked you to, none of this would have happened!" He leans back, glaring at me.

The anger that fills me at his words is hot and sits heavily on my chest, burning my throat as it rises up. "Bishop you're a fool. If I had walked away this still would have happened. Not only would the King of Shadows have wiped out everything and everyone in Neverwinter, you and me included, but that taint would ultimately have spread to the rest of the land, even as far as Rashemen. And even if it hadn't, I still would have become a spirit-eater. This was engineered! These people have been watching me since before I became Captain of Crossroad Keep, since before the temple, long before any of that! They knew I had the shard in my chest and removed it for a purpose! Don't you think I wanted to leave? Wanted to come with you, but…" I stop and take a deep breath, the anger in me subsiding, and I wonder how much of it was mine and how much was Akachi's. I stare down at the table, self conscious again in his presence. "Whatever happened and whatever you've done, you must know that I loved you, and," I hesitate, my heart thudding loudly in my chest, "…surprisingly, insanely, after everything, I think I still do." I glance up, my face flushed. Oh my gods, I can't believe I just said that. A look of surprise crosses Bishop's face, replaced just as quickly with his usual bitter expression.

"Yeah, well… I guess that's all history now, judging by the way he's looking at you." He gestures towards Gann and I turn to see him still watching me silently, his face calm. I realise that whilst Bishop used to watch me constantly, the feeling was different. Gann watches, his eyes equally dark, but I don't turn to find Bishop's frightening, possessive gaze. Gann watches me protectively, but calmly, and without expecting anything more than I can give in return. I meet his eyes, and he gazes at me, nods and then finally turns his head away towards Safiya and Kaelyn. Bishop follows this exchange bitterly and then turns to stare back into his mug of ale.

"Jealous Bishop?" I ask with a smile.

"And what of it if I am? I've just told you I love you didn't I?"

"Actually no… you didn't… you said you loved me… past tense…" I pause. "So you do still love me Bishop? Because I have just told you how I feel."

I wait, trying to appear casual, forcing the knots in my shoulders to relax, trying not to show this dark, dangerous man how anxious I am to hear his answer, and how much it still matters to me. He glances up at me and laughs softly, but bitterly, his expression finally softening slightly, seeing through my ruse as always. "Aye, I do Sennah. Gods help me, but I do."

My shoulders relax slightly, and when a mug of ale is placed before me I jump, startled because I didn't notice anyone approaching the table. "I thought you'd like your drink before you die of thirst. Or perhaps of something else…" a familiar silken voice that tugs at the edges of my mind says. I look up into Gann's dark, concerned eyes. "Are you alright?" he asks me.

"Of course she is," Bishop's husky voice snaps.

Gann doesn't look at him as he replies, "I asked her, not you, and honestly I don't think you're the best judge of that."

I notice the expression on Bishop's face become more irritated. "Oh and you are hagspawn?"

Gann finally turns away from gazing at me, and looks at Bishop. "Actually I am rather a good judge of character." He smiles briefly. "Forgive me, we haven't been introduced, I am Gannayev. Called Gann-Of-Dreams." I notice Bishop's expression flicker briefly at this revelation, and I wonder if he is thinking of his own nightmares. "And you're Bishop," he prompts as Bishop merely glares at him. Gann extends his hand. "It's customary to shake hands when you're introduced to someone, or so I'm told."

Bishop stretches out a hand and shakes Gann's briefly, pulling it away quickly as if he is afraid to touch him. "Delighted," he mutters sarcastically.

"Indeed," Gann smiles. "I have heard rather a lot about you, but of course, not from her conscious mind."

Bishop's smouldering eyes dart angrily to mine, and he turns to glare at Gann. "You're an eavesdropper are you?"

"Oh, no quite the contrary, she talks in her sleep," he says, conveniently omitting the fact that this was until recently unknown to me, and insinuating that he was close by when I slept, perhaps in the same bed. "I can't control what she says out loud when she isn't aware of it and I would never presume to invade Sennah's dreams unasked." Gann places a slight emphasis on the word unasked, and I can see Bishop's hackles rise at the implication I would ask another man into my dreams.

"Ok, that's enough," I snap, trying to cut this rivalry short. "Bishop, would you join us at our table?"

He hesitates, his angry gaze on Gann, and then picks up his mug. "Let me get another one of these." I nod, pick up my own mug and walk away from him, the shaman at my back.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bishop.  
"Another," I say, slapping the coin on the counter. The heavyset man behind the counter mutters as he takes the mug away to refill it and I lean against the bar, watching her walk back to her table. She walks lightly, her body even more lithe and graceful than when I first met her and I am reminded of us walking through the forest outside Neverwinter. The paladin made so much noise as he clunked about in his damned armour, but she was silent, always a step behind me. The hagspawn whispering in her ear and I clench my jaw in irritation, wondering if he is telling her not to trust me. I grimace. Like she doesn't know that already… I see the way he watches her, and the bile rises in my throat at the thought that I might finally have found her again, after so many agonising months of searching, only to lose her to the arms of that half-breed bastard. The bartender places my mug down next to me, too hard and the ale slops over onto the counter. I glare at him as I pick it up and walk towards her without a word.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Strange, his dreams are so close to the surface, I can almost see them whilst he's awake. Fire and smoke and pain," he says, his eyes taking on that faraway look they always do when he is seeing things not of this plane. "And you. You feature in his dreams strongly."

I see all these things too, but I am better acquainted with Bishop than the shaman. "Guilt will do that to you sometimes. These things are always just below the surface…" I murmur, wondering if that's how he also can see.

Gann looks at me, a little surprised. "Indeed. He obviously has a lot to feel guilty about…"

I nod, not trusting myself to speak at this point, and pull out a chair at our table, the legs screeching against the floor. Safiya looks over at me anxiously. "Are you alright? Who is that man? You looked like you were having some sort of argument."

"He's an old… companion of mine. Bishop." I can't bring myself to say the words friend or lover. "He's going to join us shortly."

"Can we trust him?" Kaelyn asks, straight to the point as always.

"Probably not," says Bishop walking up behind her, carrying a fresh mug of ale, "presuming you're talking about me. But I know most of the details of your leader's quest, if that makes any difference. And I'm sure I know her better than any of you do." The last comment is directed slyly at Gann, who merely smiles knowingly and says nothing. "However I know nothing of whatever other missions you might be on to save the world," he sneers derisively. I see the hackles of more than one of my companions rise at this remark, and my heart sinks. It's going to be more difficult than I though to get them to like him… then I chuckle to myself… I don't think anyone but me ever really liked Bishop… Ok, accept him perhaps…

"Has Sennah told you of her dreams?" says Kaelyn, breaking my reverie.

"No, she hasn't as a matter of fact…" Bishop looks at me and I stare back impassively, suddenly wishing I hadn't said anything to Kaelyn. Thank gods I hadn't told her the particulars of the dream.

"She dreams of the Wall of the Faithless…"

Bishop's expression changes, and become strangely blank. "Is that right?"

"Then she obviously hasn't told you that I intend to find a way to destroy it," Kaelyn says grimly, her otherworldly features glowing and her wings flexing ever so slightly in anticipation.

Bishop laughs, a loud, booming sound that I haven't heard in too long. "Now that's a quest worth taking on!" he says, and I wonder if he is insinuating that mine isn't as worthwhile. He must have seen my expression. "Oh don't take offence my little thief, I'm prepared to stop you dying as well," he grins. "And have I not always followed you against my better judgement?"

"No," I say stiffly, drawing curious glances from my friends, "Not always Bishop."

"Well, at least most of the time," he grins, and after everything, I can't help but respond to the mocking smile that plays across his face and I feel the corner of my mouth twitch as I smile back. "There now," he says, "way I see it, not all is forgiven, but at least we've taken a step." And with a tone in his voice that suggests that the argument is over, at least for now, he leans back in his chair, one arm draped casually over the support, and asks, "So, what other fool's errands have you lot taken on? Tell me everything…"

**CHAPTER 3**  


Bishop agrees to join us, at least for the time being, and I must admit I feel a certain comfort in the fact that there is a familiar face in the party, even though my feelings towards him war within me constantly. On our way back to the Veil, he typically slips back into his mocking, dangerously suggestive attitude, and it wouldn't surprise me if he tried to insinuate himself back into my bed tonight. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that either. To trust that man again so soon goes against everything I thought I knew about myself. His soul is damaged, true, but even understanding that doesn't make it easier to forgive him. But then again, I never did have enough willpower when it came to resisting him. I slip away quietly when we get back, wanting to take off my armour and relax a bit without his eyes on me for five minutes. There is a soft tap at my door, and I look up. "Come in." It's Safiya.

"Are you coming down? I thought that we should discuss our next move over some food. Magda makes a mean beef stew…"

"Thanks Safiya, I'll be right down, just let me take off my armour." She smiles, but hesitates.

"Was there something else you wanted to talk about?" I ask.

"Well, that man, Bishop…" I sigh inwardly. I knew this was going to come up.

"Yes…?"

"I don't trust him Sennah. Not only the way he looks at you, which in itself is disturbing, but he's hiding something." She sighs and rubs her shaved head. "It's not as if we all don't have our own secrets, but he's hiding something big…"

I open my mouth to defend him and offer a sharp retort, and then stop. She was right of course, the difference was, that I knew most of what Bishop was hiding from them… or at least I thought I did. I sigh.

"Bishop is… difficult, Safiya. But he's talented. He's one of the best archers and rangers I know, and yes, he's hiding many things, some of which I know, some I don't… nevertheless I will watch him. He and I have a complicated history, and I don't entirely trust him again yet, but… I appreciate your concern."

She nods and turns to leave, and I can feel her disapproval. "Safiya…" She turns back and looks at me. I blush, embarrassed to be asking this question, so I just plough ahead. "Uh… how exactly does he look at me?"

A look of amusement passes over her disapproving expression and she says wryly, "Not that I've known him more than a few hours of course… But I've been watching. Sometimes he looks at you in much the same way that Gann does." I shift uncomfortably at this, remembering my growing feelings for the shaman with guilt, enhanced now that the ranger is back. "Other times the look of hatred…" She stops, not knowing what to say.

I close my eyes briefly, trying to stop the tears that threaten at this news. "Thank you Safiya. I should have expected as much." She looks at me curiously, but when it becomes evident that I'm not going to elaborate, she nods.

"Well, I guess I'll see you downstairs then." She shuts the door quietly behind her and I unlace my leathers and wash up briefly before going downstairs.

As I approach the eating area I can hear the others talking and joking with Magda. Gann, in his usual manner is charming her into giving him the best portion. I walk towards the door and feel strong arms slip around me from behind, restraining me gently but firmly. I can feel Bishop's breath on my neck and hear him inhale the smell of my hair, now cropped short since last time he saw me. "It still smells the same, no matter how you've cut it," he growls. I half turn and can see his profile, know that he's going to lean in and kiss me, and if he does, then I am lost.

"Yes, well I got tired of the long hair and needed a change," I say. "Plus it makes it easier to fight if you don't have to worry about hair getting in the way all the time." I disengage myself from his arms, and he holds on just a moment longer than necessary. He follows behind as we go to get some food and sits down opposite me, no doubt so he can continue to watch and torment. The group talks about our next move whilst we eat, deciding if we need to go to the Thaymount Academy the next day, or if there are any loose ends that need to be tied up beforehand.

Eventually it's decided that our next step should be the school, and we make preparations to leave early the next morning.

"So Bishop," Safiya says, whether to make conversation or to probe more deeply into his secrets I don't know, "how did you get that fine scar on your face? Must have been quite some fight…"

I stiffen and Bishops laughs softly, mockingly. "So Sennah didn't tell you I see…" I look up at him gazing at me with those dark, watchful eyes, tormenting me. "She gave it to me… Slashed at me with her dagger and I wasn't quick enough to move out the way. It went much deeper than I originally thought and…" he smirks, "there wasn't a healer close by… well… the only ones that were around were either dead or wished the same of me."

The conversation, up until this point quite lively, dies and there's silence around the table. The only one who looks unsurprised is Gann, and his face is inscrutable. "You must have done something bad." Safiya says, a hard tone appearing in her voice, and I'm sure she's trying to goad him into revealing his secrets. "I've never seen her attack unprovoked…"

He smiles and says casually, "Oh, yes, I don't deny I deserved it. I betrayed her and tried to kill her…" Safiya looks a little shocked. I smile inwardly although my face stays immobile, even though I'm fairly surprised he admitted it so readily. I'm sure she wasn't expecting him to do so either but Bishop always did speak plainly, if not completely honestly. He turns his gaze away from mine to look at her. "That is what you wanted to hear isn't it Thayan?" She leans away from him slightly, a revolted expression on her pretty face. "I may not be able to see into people's dreams like the hagspawn here, but I'm pretty good at reading people…" He glances again at me, "Well… most people." He turns back to Safiya, "And your expressions are easier than most even if I can't quite figure you all out yet. Like those voices you hear…"

Safiya starts and glares at him angrily. "How did you…?"

"Alright that's enough," I say, perhaps a little too sharply. "It's true. I gave Bishop that scar." The eyes resting on me are curious, and I try to control the nervous smile that twitches at the corners of my mouth, as the words start to tumble out a little too quickly, betraying my anxiety at speaking all of this aloud. "We might as well get all the cards on the table. Everyone here knows my history and how I ended up here. So the rest of it… Before we finally fought the King of Shadows, Bishop betrayed us, siding with a mage called Black Garius who was a servant of the enemy. When we met again he walked away. True, after we had fought and I gave him the scar, but nevertheless he walked away rather than kill me." I don't mention my companions as I'm sure he wouldn't have hesitated to kill them were it not for me, but the new group doesn't need this piece of information to cause them more discomfort. But it sounds like I'm making excuses for him and I hate that he's put me in this position. I glare at Bishop. "Are you happy now?"

"Not quite yet…" he grins, "Aren't you going to tell them the rest of it? What I am, what we were? Seems to me we might as well go the whole mile." I narrow my eyes, knowing that he's doing this to make me seem weak for accepting him back, trying to undermine what little authority I might have.

Through gritted teeth I say, "Fine. He's a murderer, a former Luskan assassin and a betrayer and yes, we were lovers. And I loved him against my better judgement, and," I say spitefully, "although he won't admit it to many people, he loved me too… Is that all Bishop?" I ask angrily.

"I think that about covers it…" he grins, "If I think of anything else I'll be sure to let you know."

Shocked silence. And then… "And you're asking us to accept this maniac into our party?" Safiya asks incredulously.

I look at her. "Well who else do we have so far Safiya? What makes the rest of us so much better than him? Granted, we are far more honourable than him…" I throw a scathing look at Bishop and his grin widens, "but so far we have you, a red wizard, reputation or no, who hears voices in her head," Might as well get this all out in the open, I think, "Kaelyn who has abandoned her god and the Menagerie in favour of bringing down the Wall of the Faithless; Gann, who I released from a prison cell in order for him to help me fight Okku, who until recently wanted to kill me and has supposedly disgraced his ancestors! Does it really matter that Bishop is just a different kind of outcast to the rest of us? Like I haven't killed more people than I can count in the last few months!? Of all of us, I am probably the worst, as I have the lovely spirit eating demon inside me and yet you still follow me!" The words just spill out of me, and won't stop coming as my voice climbs by an octave. "Why do you follow someone you know could go insane and kill you at any time if she doesn't feed often enough!? And even if I didn't, the chances are that this curse could be transferred to you. Either way I worry that it will get you all killed…"

I stop, hearing the edge of hysteria that has crept into my voice. Bishop is watching me with an annoyingly amused expression on his face, and I feel my face burn at my emotional outburst, my ears getting hot and even though I can't see them, I'm sure turning red. I open my mouth to break the uncomfortable silence when Gann speaks first and I notice the irritated set of Bishop's shoulders although his face gives away nothing.

"We are all fully aware of the danger your curse represents Sennah, Okku as a spirit and Safiya especially since she is deeply involved in this whole spirit-eater…" He waves his hand vaguely in the air, "thing… and yes, we follow you for a number of reasons, but that doesn't mean that we care about you any less." He looks directly at Bishop, who doesn't meet his eyes. "Even the ranger… strange as it may appear to others as he did try to kill you, cares about you, that much is apparent in the way he stares at you."

At this, Bishop looks up angrily. "Don't presume to know my mind hagspawn," he sneers derisively. "You don't know anything about our history. Nothing more than the version she has given you."

Gann smiles calmly. "You'd be surprised what I know Bishop. I don't pry into others dreams unasked but yours sit close to the surface and they reveal themselves, albeit in a somewhat confused manner." At this, Bishop becomes incensed and I can see him opening his mouth to argue when Gann cuts him off by holding up a hand. "Don't take offence ranger, it is the way of many damaged souls for their dreams to infuse their waking thoughts and I am merely more susceptible than most to seeing them. I won't reveal them to others, rest assured." This doesn't seem to have had a placating effect on Bishop however for once he keeps his sharp words to himself and glares at Gann in silence. "The point," Gann continues in the same calm voice, "is that we are all aware of your feelings towards her, as is obvious by the way you watch her… And I'm offering a warning. She is giving you a second chance and if you betray her again there will be hells to pay."

Bishop stands abruptly, knocking his chair to the floor. "You know nothing hagspawn," he hisses. "But rest assured, she is safe when she is with me, no matter what you might think." He strides away, throwing an angry glance at me over his shoulder.

There is an uncomfortable silence as he leaves and then, surprisingly Gann chuckles. "I can guess that didn't go as he planned," he says.

I smile. "Thank you for sticking up for me Gann. I appreciate it."

"They're not just words Sennah," he says. "No matter what we might think of him, we'll tolerate him because of you," he throws a hard glance at Safiya, who nods stiffly, and continues, "and indeed if he hurts you again, he won't escape with a mere scar this time."

I smile, a lump in my throat that I refuse to let climb any higher and materialise into tears.

"Thank you, but I sincerely hope this time it won't be necessary."

"Hmph," Safiya snorts.

"Safiya…" says Gann soothingly.

"I know," she mutters, but raises an eyebrow at him nonetheless.

"Well after all those confessions I think I'm going to get some rest," I say, standing up. "Not for long, a couple of hours maybe, and I'll be back down later."

"Sleep well," Gann says. "Let us hope your nightmares are at an end…" I look at him curiously as I haven't told him the details of my nightmares but I say nothing. Gann is full of surprises…

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Bishop.  
Of all the… that damned hagspawn… My thoughts swirl incoherently in my head, and the anger at the way things turned out makes my hands clench involuntarily at my sides, my nails biting into my palms. I stalk away from the table, fully intending to go and brood in my room, but instead I find myself outside her quarters, my hand on the door and impulsively I push it open and make my way to her window. As I stare out at the unfamiliar city, the impact of the fact that she is alive, at least for the moment, hits me and my anger evaporates. I should be grateful that she is here, not angry when she has every right to hate me. She was always too forgiving…

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I nod and walk away, hearing Safiya mutter disapprovingly, "I hope she has better sense than to go and find him…" I pretend I haven't heard and walk slowly to my room, brooding on what Gann has said to Bishop.

As I open my door, I see him standing by the window, leaning against the wall in an all too familiar stance. "Gods Bishop, haven't you argued with everyone enough for one day!? Just go away and leave me be."

"I didn't come to argue with you Sennah," his voice softer and more vulnerable than I've ever heard it. "I… came to…" he hesitates, "apologise…" I stare at him open-mouthed, and then realise how I must look and try to recollect my wits.

"Apologise? You? What for specifically? Betraying me? Trying to kill me? Or perhaps for provoking me in front of people I barely know?" My voice rises and comes out sharply however he doesn't get angry as I would have expected. Instead he smiles and looks down, not meeting my angry gaze. Well that's a first I think to myself.

"All of those things and more." He glances up at me, a smile in his dark eyes. "Although provoking you was fun, even if it didn't turn in my favour." His attempt at humour doesn't ease my irritation and I stare back at him impassively. He has the grace to look uncomfortable. Another first I think. He clears his throat and then breathes in and exhales slowly, running his hands through his thick, bronze hair. "Look, the way I see it, you know my secrets, particularly the more shameful ones, and yet you still care for me… or at least you did, and I can't ask for more than that after the way I treated you, both in the temple and tonight. I don't know why you do, but… I'm… grateful for it." He sighs and sits down on the bed, putting his head in his hands.  
"I'm not a good person Sennah, and whatever you think, I'm not blaming it on anyone but myself. I've made those choices and I can't lay that on anyone else, least of all you. I followed you, loved you and then tried to turn you into a person like me, and I should be ashamed of that, because I knew from the beginning that you weren't like me. You're a better person that I am, than most people are, and I've done you wrong."

If he's acting, I think to myself, then he's a damn good one. Of course, I know he's a good actor… I've had firsthand experience of it, but this is something different.

"Growing a conscience are we Bishop?" I retort, but my heart isn't in it, and I'm sure he can hear that.

A trace of his old voice creeps back in as his head jerks up, his eyes narrowing. "Yeah and what of it? A person isn't allowed to change? Feel regret?"

"It's not that people aren't allowed to change Bishop, I'm just surprised it's coming from you…" I sit down next to him on the bed, so close that we're almost touching… almost, but not quite and I can feel the heat between our bodies as I try to hold on to my self-control. I ache to put my arms around him, feel his lips on mine, but I hold back, reminded of the way my heart has already been broken. "For what it's worth, although I can't forgive or trust you so readily… I accept your apology." Impulsively I reach over and take his hand, and he grasps it hard and nods, finally looking up and meeting my gaze. I gasp, for the first time since I've known him I see pain in his eyes. Not obvious, but there nonetheless. And then it passes, and the same dark, hungry look that I have always known is back. His hand caresses my cheek and he leans forward to kiss me. I sway towards him but then pull myself back and turn my head away, closing my eyes. "I'm can't Bishop," I say, the pain in my chest reminding me of the past, "Not yet." I open my eyes, expecting anger or that sly coercing look, but he merely nods, a look of resignation on his features, and detaching his fingers from mine, puts his arms around me. I can feel his heart beating and hear his ragged breathing. A moment, and then he rises, runs his hand over my hair and walks towards the door.

"I dream of you, you know… trapped in the Wall of the Faithless. It's why I believed you were dead. Why I was so shocked to see you in the Sloop," I say.

He turns towards me, and his eyes looks haunted.

"I thought they were revelations, and the hags in the Sunken City told me they were true. In my dreams you're so angry with me…" I stop, knowing my voice will break if I continue.

"You shouldn't believe all your dreams," he says with a faint smile. "Not all of them are true. Now get some sleep." He repeats what Gann said earlier and I realise he must have been listening.

"Let us hope your nightmares are at an end…" He walks out, silent as always, shutting the door quietly behind him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bishop.  
Difficult as it was for me to not touch her, I feel lighter. I can't Bishop… Not yet. Not yet. That means that I just need to give her time. Time… Even though I was a tracker, patience had never been my strong point. But gods, I should be grateful she even accepted my apology after everything. I recall my earlier thoughts – yes, she was always too forgiving. Of course that works in my favour now… You wanted her to punish you, the voice in my head says. You wanted to carry the guilt… Not true! My conscious mind argues – I want nothing more than to be with her again. And considering my prior dispensation to being tied down, that's unusual. Perhaps, the voice says. Or perhaps you actually wanted to carry that betrayal with you, to give you an excuse to hate her, an excuse for your actions. And now she's forgiven you… Not yet, I remind the voice. No, not yet, it agrees, but soon… You know she will. It doesn't matter, I argue. I won't leave her again, I can't go through that more than once. Ah, so it's a selfish reason then, the voice smiles… You don't want to put yourself through the pain a second time. Shut up! I tell the voice, you're not even real, you can't tell me what to do. Oh but I am real Bishop, it says as it fades away… I'm you…

I stop on my way back to my room, my heart beating fast, my mouth dry, beads of sweat popping on my brow. I'm going crazy, I think. Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness… I take a deep breath and reach out to steady myself, feeling the roughness of the wooden door frame beneath my hand. It makes me feel minimally better, knowing that I'm still in the real world. Suddenly I feel a crawling sensation on the back of my neck, someone's watching… My head snaps up and I look around, my heart beating a-rhythmically, making me sweat. And there he is. Damned hagspawn. Watching me. I grimace, knowing he's seen me in this moment of weakness and I despise him for it. I glare at him, locking eyes, daring him to mock me. He says nothing, merely stares at me, his grey eyes disconcerting and turbulent, as if he sees my thoughts. It has become a competition, neither of us willing to turn away, even though my eyes are beginning to burn from not blinking, and I desperately want to escape to my quarters, I continue to glare at him. Finally a ghost of a smile touches the corners of his mouth, and he melts back into the shadows, walking away from me. My shoulders sag in relief and I watch for a moment longer before I start to walk back to my room again. He looked away first, but I don't feel as if I've achieved anything, I feel like I've lost a battle, failed some sort of test.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The music drifts in from downstairs as my mind leans towards wakefulness. I open my eyes, pulling myself away from a dark, familiar dream that fades as I try to maintain my grip and remember it, and stare at the shadowed ceiling. I rinse my mouth and head downstairs to see what's going on, running my hands through my short hair as I make my way towards the noise I can hear in the other room.

I'm greeted by laughter and raucous, drunken singing, a large part of it from the resident actors, but I also see the rest of the group joining in, although Kaelyn in a somewhat more reserved manner. Gann spots me coming in and I can tell he has had a bit to drink as he hoists his tankard in the air and toasts me loudly, to which all the actors join in. "Sennah! You know you want to dance with me!" he shouts. I laugh, "Gann, I've only just woken up, the least you could do is buy me a drink before you attempt to coerce me into dancing!"

"That can be arranged my lady," he grins, "Barkeep! Another mug of ale for the beautiful spiriteater in the corner!"

"Who are you calling barkeep you cheeky rogue?!" shouts Magda, but I can see her smiling at Gann as he leans over and plants a kiss on her cheek. She pours me a mug of ale and hands it to me, winking as she does so.

I sit down next to Safiya, who is brooding, nursing an untouched drink. "Did you rest?" she asks me. I throw a glance at her.

"Yes, thankfully. I just needed a couple of hours." I stifle a yawn as I say that, but she doesn't seem to notice. The tiredness overwhelms me almost constantly these days, the weight of Akachi heavy whenever I haven't fed in a while.

"That's good. You don't want to overdo it when there's nothing nearby to help you get your energy back," she says, referring to my spirit hunger. I can see she wants to ask something else, and I have a suspicion I know what it is.

I think about avoiding the topic and then say, "I didn't sleep with him if that's what you want to know." Safiya blushes, and I know I've caught her out.

"I didn't… I mean… it's none of my…" she stammers.

"It's ok, Safiya," I say. Although I am mildly irritated at her interference into my affairs, I know she means no harm by it she's merely worried. "If I was in your position I'd probably be thinking the same thing. You don't know him, you have no reason to trust him and let's face it I wasn't entirely honest with you about our relationship…" I hesitate and she looks at me curiously, "I thought he was dead," I sigh. "He's a complete bastard, and yet, there's something about the way he makes me feel… like there's this connection between us. Every part of my conscious mind told me he was dead, but my heart just didn't feel it..." I hesitate again, wondering exactly how much I should share. "I've been dreaming about him, trapped in the Wall of the Faithless." Figured I might as well tell her everything…

Safiya straightens up, her expression alert. "So this is what Gann and Kaelyn meant. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well Gann of course figured it out, but I didn't tell Kaelyn who I was dreaming about. As to why I didn't tell you?" I smile, embarrassed. "Well, I guess it just hurt too much to think about it. This way, it's kind of a relief that he's alive, and yet there's still the hurt of the betrayal, even though I know why he did it."

"You understand that? You forgive him? Even after what he did?" she asks incredulously.

"I don't think I can forgive him just yet," I say, "but he's apologised to me, and if you knew Bishop, you'd know that's a big step."

"So… uh, would you tell me why he did it? Or is that too much at this moment in time?" she asks. I look up at her and see her serious expression.

"He misjudged me," I say and I see Safiya's confusion. I take a breath. "He thought that by betraying me I would give up my quest. That I wouldn't go and face the King of Shadows. In a weird, twisted way… he was doing it to save me… and when I didn't, he felt betrayed because he'd allowed himself to care for me…" I laugh softly. "I did say it was twisted…"

Safiya stares at me, her large eyes searching mine, trying to understand what's going on in my mind. "I hope you know what you're doing Sennah, that's all I can say."

I smile wryly. "I have absolutely no idea Safiya, I thought you knew that by now."

She grins back. "Well, either way, I guess I have not choice but to trust you."

I sigh. "Gods Safiya, I hope you know what you're doing!" I repeat. She laughs and I join in.

"So are you going to drink that or what? I think Gann has every intention of making you dance!"

"I don't need to be drunk to dance!" I laugh.

"Perhaps not," she smiles wickedly, "but I think perhaps he needs the courage in order to ask you."

I blush slightly and return the grin. "Well, I can at least say that I'm a pretty good dancer, Harborman or not…"

"And I can say with no false modesty whatsoever I really am a fantastic dancer, drunk or sober," Gann's silken voice says from behind me.

"So let's put that to the test then Gann-of-Dreams," I say putting down my hastily gulped down mug of ale. Gods I can already feel it starting to go to my head. "Are we talking a co-ordinated shuffle here, or proper courtly dancing? I can do both equally well," I tease.

"Why this is a theatre! Courtly dancing of course!" He says in mock offence. "So then, may I have this dance lady?"

I bow my head and rise, I hope gracefully, to my feet. Thank goodness for Retta Starling is all I'm thinking, as Gann leads me out onto the floor.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A while later, I beg off Gann's superb dancing and collapse into my chair. Who would have thought that a hagspawn shaman raised in the wilds of Rasheman would be able to dance like that! Those were dances Retta taught me from when she lived in Neverwinter! I can't even begin to imagine where he learnt them… Full of surprises as always is Gann-Of-Dreams… He offers his hand to Safiya, who smiles and stands up far more gracefully than I'm sure I did. I surprise myself as I notice a little pang of jealousy and I chuckle in irritation and then jump as I hear a mocking voice behind me.

"Jealous, Sennah?" and I wonder if he can hear my thoughts.

"Of course not, why would I be?" I scoff, but I can feel my cheeks flush as I say it. I look up into those dark, watchful eyes that burn right through me as he sits down next to me and turns to watch Safiya and Gann, as well as Kaelyn, who has loosened up slightly and is dancing with one of the Veil's actors. I find myself staring at the hair curling at the nape of his neck, the line of his shoulders, and have to jerk my eyes away as he turns back towards me.

"You dance well. Light on your feet as always."

I smile. "I had a good teacher. Retta, she…" I stop, remembering that Retta died when West Harbor was burned, and knowing Bishop's hatred of sentimentality I keep my thoughts to myself. "Nevermind. Anyway, she taught me all those dances." The music changes and as I start to speak I again feel self-conscious. "Would you like to dance?" I say, wishing desperately at that moment that he didn't have this effect on me.

Bishop looks at me, amused. "I don't dance," he says.

"Oh really? And why would that be?"

He smiles his usual mocking smile. "It's not often I find someone I want to dance with."

I gasp in mock horror. "Oh is that a challenge!? You bastard!" I grin as I grab his hand and drag him on to the dance floor. He resists only briefly. "Don't worry if you don't know the steps, I'll show you how," I say arrogantly, confident in my own dancing skills.

At that he laughs, "Is that a challenge?" He grabs me suddenly and pulls me close, and just as I start to feel anxious, he whirls me round the dance floor in a close, sensual dance so intense I can feel the heat radiating off him, and every eye turns to us, watching…

The song ends and it's a moment before I can speak. "I thought you said you couldn't dance!" I gasp.

He smiles that secret smile of his. "I didn't say I couldn't. I just said I didn't," he replies, mysterious as ever. He holds me close for a second longer, and then releases me so suddenly I almost fall over. I turn my back and try to walk gracefully to my chair, attempting to stop my legs from giving out beneath me. I collapse gratefully and in a startling turn of events, Bishop extends his hand to Safiya and asks her to dance. She looks at him - surprised, uncertain, and then, caught unawares for once, she extends her hand. I have to marvel at Bishop's surprising array of talents, and his impeccable footwork. I would never have imagined he could dance so well. And of course, it was a good move on his part. He knows Safiya is his greatest opposition to him joining our group, and whilst Bishop has never sought approval from anybody, he is making an uncharacteristic effort that I can't help but admire. He's merely calculating, the voice in my mind says – he never does anything that didn't have something in it for him. I suppress this uncomfortable nagging voice and watch in amazement as he then asks Kaelyn to dance, and Safiya and I exchange a look, that says that at the very least, she'll give him a chance. I smile to myself as he rejoins me at the table. Gann has gone back to drinking and charming the other women in the Veil, who giggle and flirt with him, but I notice him watching me out of the corner of his eye the whole night, and when I finally bid everyone good night and leave, I can feel his eyes on me as I walk out the door.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Gann.  
She's so beautiful, and I don't even think she knows it, which of course makes her so much more attractive. But beautiful as she is, it's the soul behind those electric blue eyes that draws me to her, the depth, and the feeling that I've known her all my life when we've just met. I can feel myself spinning, dragged into them whenever I look at her, and I think she feels it too, but won't admit it. I see the way he watches her, possessively, and he knows how I feel about her. I can see the warning in his eyes, in his stance, like he's always on the verge of drawing his weapon. I wonder how desperate he would be to keep her and to what lengths he would go. I can see from his dreams and expressions that he's deeply in love with her and I wonder how he betrayed her if he loved her as much as I think he does. I watch them dance, can see the tension between the two of them, and know it won't be long before they're sharing a bed again.  
A pang of jealously grips me and I turn away, flirting with some of the prettier women in the Veil, trying to take my mind off the look on her face as he held her. But my eyes are always drawn back to her, and he is never far away, staking his claim, reminding me that she was his first. If I had her would I feel the same?

I watch her stand and leave, bidding everyone goodnight, her eyes meeting mine as she leaves, a slight smile touching her full lips and I ache to take her in my arms, just to feel the touch of her skin and the warmth of her body against mine. Bishop stays and discreetly finishes his drink, then I watch him slip silently out the door, and I know he is going to her. My heart lurches and I turn away…

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm standing by the window, staring out at the darkness when Bishop appears at my door, knocking softly. Of course I knew he would come, and I would have been disappointed if he had not, but at the same time I can discern the danger, and my senses are alert. He says nothing as he walks in silently and approaches me as I stare out the window. He puts his arms around me and again breathes in the scent of my hair, resting his lips there briefly. I feel his breath as he leans forward and kisses my neck where it meets my shoulder, his lips sliding over my collar.

"Bishop," I sigh, my heart beating furiously. "I don't know if I can…"

All the earlier vulnerability has vanished.

"Sennah, although you know from experience that I'm fully prepared to coerce you… you know you want to..."

He is so right, but I feel as if I have to attempt to resist, even if I kick myself in the morning. "I never said I didn't want to, but one dance, however unexpected, and an apology doesn't change what happened between us." I can feel his warmth through my clothes, and his hands around me, his fingers brushing my ear, burns me, leaving my skin tingling. It seems I'm always cold these days and I shiver involuntarily. He says nothing, but traces his fingers down my neck, pushing aside the collar of my shirt as he leans in and kisses my shoulder, leaving fire behind as he goes.

"If I do this now and you betray me again… well, I don't know if I can deal with that," I say.

"I'm not going to betray you again Sennah," he murmurs, and I can hear the ever-present touch of bitterness in his voice. "Surely you know now that I can't live without you? Even if you chose that hagspawn dream thief over me… I would still follow you," he laughs softly, "although I can't guarantee I wouldn't kill him at some point. I've learnt what it feels like to lose you… and you have my full permission to hunt me down if I ever do anything to hurt you again…"

I can't trust him. He's so good with words, and I've never been strong enough, but his fingers undoing the buttons on my shirt are speaking louder than the protests in my mind, and the last of my resolve falls away with my clothes as I turn to meet his mouth hungrily with mine. The past months, the betrayal, the pain, the loss – all of these mean nothing at this moment. His lips are soft, familiar, but with them comes the urgent desire I remember. He bites my bottom lip gently, his tongue seeking and parting my lips, and I feel my own desire intensify as I trace the ridges on the roof of his mouth with my tongue.

My hands slide over his shoulders, pulling at the fabric of his shirt, anxious to feel his skin, his hard chest. Then his shirt is gone and I press myself against him as he buries his face in the crook of my neck and bites my shoulder gently. I shiver at the sensation and he pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me tightly, so tight I almost can't breathe but I don't care. We fall to the bed, clothes thrown on the floor and he enters me. Our lovemaking is urgent, frantic and I can feel the sweat dripping from my body, our skin glued together, the smell of him, his face buried in my neck as the tension builds. Dimly, I can hear my own cries mingled with his, and I don't care who hears, I am lost in the sensation of Bishop's body moulded to mine as if we were never apart.

Later, we lie spent, his body resting heavily on mine until finally he shifts ever so slightly to relieve the pressure on me, but his limbs remain entwined with mine, neither of us willing to let the other go. He says nothing, except his fingers trace patterns on my skin and occasionally he kisses my hair, my shoulder, my neck. Nothing that happened in the past matters. We are here together again and I am lost in his kisses, the familiarity that still makes my skin tingle, the feel of his body against mine, the smell of him and I know that I can't stop loving this man, no matter how hard I try.

  
**CHAPTER 4**  


I dream. In this dream I am standing again by the Wall, Gann at my side, and I know that he really is there. "Why is it you always seem to join me in these dreams Gann?" I smile. "Always the embarrassing ones too…" He smiles back.

"Because I can see you Sennah. I know how you feel about him. But that doesn't change how I feel."

My brow furrows. "But that doesn't explain why you're always with me in the dreams." I say, confused.

"Doesn't it?" He looks amused, as if he has caught some joke that I've missed. "Don't you think the best person to be with you in dreams such as these is the person who provides an anchor? We anchor each other to the real world. Bishop loves you, but he is uncertain and unstable."

"Gann," I stammer, "it's not that I don't care for you… but Bishop…"

"Bishop betrayed you Sennah…" he says bluntly. I bow my head in shame, not shame at Bishop's betrayal, that is not mine to feel, but shame at my feelings for him that I can't hide. He sighs. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to be so callous, I just meant…"

"No, Gann, you're right," I say, "But…"

"But you can't turn those feelings off. I understand that, as I'm sure you realise," he says wryly. I shift uncomfortably as he says that – I know only too well to whom he is referring. "But I do believe that you can love more than one person you know. They are different parts of your soul that you never knew were missing until you were whole…"

I stare at him, and he breaks out of his reverie, glancing at me and smiling calmly. Why is it I always feel like I'm out of my depth with Gann? Those deep, calm eyes that seem to see straight through me into my soul. All of a sudden I'm acutely aware that my physical body is lying in bed with Bishop, entwined in his arms, and I blush. I don't know whether Gann is aware of my thoughts but he takes my hand, and squeezes it.

"Come, Sennah, let us face this Wall together, and hopefully we can put an end to your nightmares." I squeeze back, acutely aware of his fingers around mine. Gods what is wrong with me? I can't be satisfied with one crazy man; I have to have feelings for another one with mother issues?

I step towards the Wall, Gann at my side. And the nightmare starts again. Bishop in the Wall, devoured, eyes glowing, one bulging, his body covered in some kind of green mould, and shouting, hating. Apart from the fact that I received a fragment of the mask the first time I had this dream in the Sunken City, nothing has changed. The Wall cries and screeches, the souls entombed in it absorbed until there is nothing left. Instinctively I turn away, not wanting to look at the ravaged face of the lover that lies next to me in the real world, except that this time Gann forces me to look.

"The only way to defeat this is to face it Sennah, until then, you will revisit it over and over again." Of course I know he is right, but to see Bishop like that is so hard. The knowledge that this is what will happen to him when he dies makes me weak. I step up to him, and he glares at me. I feel like I'm repeating a script – always the same lines.

"Bishop… This can't be right. You turned against Garius and fled... you survived."

Bishop glares at me, his white eye bulging. "Funny, I remember things differently. Halfway out of the temple, everything shakes, and a hundred tons of rock falls on my head. Last thing I recall seeing were bits of my own skull." He notices Gann and turns his angry glare on him. "Who is this one? He speaks as if he knows you. And where's dear Casavir? Have you already traded up for this hag-spawned wretch? Or did you leave the paladin under a pile of rock, as well?" I flinch at the pain in my heart at the mention of my friends, but Bishop is relentless. "Well, if I see him in the Wall, I'll give him your best. We'll chat about old times and trade tales of our fickle swamp wench."

I sigh, and my voice breaks. "Bishop, you always saw something between Casavir and me... something that wasn't there."

The Wall convulses, and the figures within it cry out. The foul mould expands and Bishop's expression changes to one of fear. He groans. "They're coming..."

"Focus, Bishop," I say urgently. "I need to know what this dream means." He turns his frenzied gaze back to me.

"Can you hear it? In the screams... underneath the screams? The reason you're here... they all know. No, listen... to the shrieks, and the moans. It's not in the sounds themselves, it's in the pattern... lurking in the echoes, hidden behind their words. They're infected with hope... waiting for the Crusade to return." His good eye looks around him frantically, wide in fear.

"Is this the Wall of the Faithless?" I ask him, already knowing the answer, like I know the answer to so many of this dreams questions, but somehow needing to hear it from him again and again. And then I realise something. "Your voice is different. Are you still Bishop, or someone else?" He says nothing; merely gazes back at me, now full of hatred again. "There's got to be a way to get you out of this Wall..." A sob breaks free from my throat. "It doesn't make me happy to see you like this, Bishop. I'm sorry."

His face contorts in anger and he raises his voice, almost shouting. "No. I made this bed of mould and rot. You don't get to ease your aching conscience by playing hero." He smirks and then sighs. "Ah... to forget and be forgotten - that's paradise. It's getting there that's the hard part, but I don't fight it, like these others."

I step back, stung. "Bishop, you don't mean that…"

"Don't I?" He dismisses me and turns his gaze on Gann. "So, does the pretty hagspawn sing for his supper, or does he dance as well?" Just as suddenly Bishop's voice changes, and I can hear the agony, but it's not him speaking. "It ended here. This Wall... it hungers... it drains everything away." Bishop's one good eye loses focus. It seems to look through me... beyond me. The screams and cries of the other souls become quieter, as if they are suddenly listening to his words. For a moment, Bishop's eye seems to clear. He looks at me, takes in my face, as if for the first time. "You... I saw you. Here. I saw you, in the Wall. No... It was someone else. You're a mask. Nothing but a mask." The Wall shudders again, and I hear a sickening crack as Bishop is drawn further back into the Wall. Green mould rushes in to cover his face and bursts forth from his mouth in a noxious plume. Bishop groans, and his voice is hoarse as he's absorbed back into the wall, "He's seen you... the god of the dead... they're coming..."

I step back as Bishop descends back into the Wall, knowing from past experience that this dream is almost over, but Gann turns to me. "Sennah, I know this dream is a repetition, but the important part is that you've faced it, not shied away, and faced your guilt over what happened."

I look up into his calm face, my insides in turmoil. "Do you really think so? I feel like I've been here so many times, this is a script that I say over and over again, except…" Realisation dawns, "Wait, the responses change. And… I don't think I've ever said I'm sorry to him before." I pause, thoughtful, considering what this means. "He's never absolved me of guilt… admitted that his fate was due to his choices not mine…" I look up and see a satisfied look in Gann's eyes, as if I've passed some sort of test. And suddenly I know, that whilst Bishop will always have my heart, there is another connection with Gann that I can't deny any longer. My soul knows him, indeed has always known that he was out there, and he understands me on a level that I have never known with anyone else. I know that Gann will always be there for me, whether I want him or no, and now that I know him, I am whole, but with him gone, I will never be whole again. Gann smiles at me, and I realise he knows my thoughts, that he has come to this realisation long before I have. The difference is that he hasn't fought it, but embraced its possibility, regardless of the outcome.

"It's time to leave now, my love." His voice is soft, tender.  
I nod, unable to speak, and close my eyes. The dream world that has featured in my nightmares for weeks spins away from me, I know for the last time.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bishop.  
I start awake, and it takes me a minute to get my bearings. Where am I? The shadows play on the ceiling, and bring with them images of demons long suppressed. And then recollection comes rushing back, along with the feelings of guilt, and pain, and then relief, knowing she is with me.

I sit up and turn to find her frowning in her sleep, her brow furrowed in concentration. She tosses, and I remember the last time we lay like this her dark hair lay fanned out across the pillow… now it's cropped raggedly short, but it suits her, enhances those big blue eyes that always stop my heart. I wonder what she's dreaming about and stare at the frown and the line it creates between her eyes. I reach out to touch it and smooth it away.

She mutters in her sleep, "Bishop…" and I jerk my hand away, thinking she might be awake, but she just tosses her head again. "Bishop, I'm sorry…"

I can hear the agony in her voice and it tugs at my heart. Gods damn this woman, how did I become so involved? I lie back down and she turns towards me, throwing her arm across my bare chest. I hesitate a moment before I relax and put my hand over hers, feeling the softness of her skin, as my mind turns over frantically. I promised myself I wouldn't get tied down, how did this happen? How did I end up caring so much about her? I think back to when I thought I'd lost her in the temple, and the months I spent wandering aimlessly, looking for her, hoping she had escaped, hearing the rumours of some kind of cursed hero that had appeared in Rasheman, and making my way here, hoping against all odds that it might be her.

And here I was. Back with her. Seemingly forgiven if not trusted. Only to find that damned hagspawn shaman hanging around and watching her, and although I don't think she knows it, she watches him too, and not for the first time the thought occurs to me, would I ever be prepared to share her, just to be close to her? The feeling of jealousy is so strong that I instinctively tighten my grip, not realising how hard I was holding on to her until she stirred and muttered again. Gods this is exactly what I didn't want, why I don't like getting tied down. I grit my teeth, releasing my hold, and she turns over, murmuring my name again. I realise I don't need to wonder what she's dreaming, I already know…

The Wall. It haunts my dreams as it does hers, and I wonder how it is that we share this dream. In mine I'm trapped in the Wall and she's on her knees, crying, apologising, attempting to pull me out and I'm trying to tell her she must go, that there's danger, she must get away, but another voice keeps speaking out of my mouth, drowning out my own. At the end all I can croak at her is, "He's seen you... the god of the dead... they're coming..." before the Wall pulls me back into the darkness, silencing me.

I close my eyes and turn towards her, curling myself around her to get as close as possible. And not knowing when I might be able to do it again, I breathe in the smell of her as I slip towards sleep.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I awake early in the morning, earlier than necessary even, feeling more refreshed than I have in weeks, and roll over to see Bishop, looking tense and ready to spring up, knife in hand, even in his sleep. I watch him for a moment, looking at the stubble that needs shaving on his jaw, the permanent frown that creases his brow, and the muscles in his shoulders. His pulse beats steadily in his neck, reminding me that he is blessedly alive, even as he twitches like a dog, dreaming of who knows what demons. I wonder at the wisdom of my actions in taking him back into my bed, knowing that my companions will disapprove, but I can't feel anything but happiness at the moment. Even thoughts of Gann that cause me to blush slightly, can't ruin my happiness at being in Bishop's arms again. I wonder if he knows my thoughts about Gann, and I realise that he must, or at the very least he suspects, otherwise surely he wouldn't be so jealous. I think back to the time in Neverwinter when Casavir was around, much as it pains me to think of him. Bishop always thought Casavir's attentions were reciprocated, and that was why the jealousy was so evident, he was afraid I would choose Casavir over him… I remember Casavir's amazingly blue eyes, and how they always had the power to make me flush, but although I was flattered by the paladin's attention, I never felt drawn to him in the same way as I did to Bishop… as I do to Gann…

I roll on to my back and stare at the ceiling, trying to get my thoughts into some sort of order. I remember my dream of the night before, and the role Gann had to play in it, along with the conclusions I had reached. I sigh, closing my eyes and wondering how on earth I was going to handle this… Bishop stirs and I push the thoughts from my mind as he rolls towards me and opens his eyes, looking momentarily surprised at finding me next to him.

I laugh at his expression. "You can go back to your own room if you want to!"

He grins sleepily, "Now why would I want to do that when the view in this one is so much nicer?" He grabs me and pulls me toward him, burying his face in my neck and inhaling, and I wonder at the animal nature of this habit, always breathing in my scent, as if he's forgotten what I smell like and he needs to find me. I laugh softly as I realise Bishop has always reminded me of his wolf Karnwyr, and it seems almost natural for him to behave in such a way. He looks up at me. "What is it?" he growls, grinning at me.

"Nothing, I was just thinking how much you remind me of Karnwyr," I laugh.

He joins in. "Well I can't deny that I might have picked up a few of his habits along the way! How about I show you some of them before we leave?" He grins wickedly, pulling the blankets over our heads as he growls and bites my shoulder…

A while later I emerge from my room, Bishop having slipped back to his to change and get his things, and I make my way downstairs to wait for everyone before we leave. Kaelyn, Okku and Gann are already waiting and Gann smiles at me as I walk into the room.

"Sleep well?" he asks.

I grin back, "Surprisingly…" He smiles knowingly, and I think back to the dream we shared.

"Safiya still getting ready?" I ask. "Returning to Thaymount after everything that's happened is going to be hard for her."

"I'll manage," Safiya's voice says from behind and I turn to see her walking into the room,

Bishop a few steps behind her, silent as always. She glances over her shoulder, her expression hardening slightly, but says nothing, obviously adhering to her resolution to give him a chance.  
I look around at my companions, knowing that this is a major step forward in our quest: either to my death or my salvation.

"Are you all ready?" I ask.

They say nothing, and the grim determination on their faces tells me all I need to know. "Alright then." I turn and we make our way to the Shadow Portal in Lienna's room and the portal that will take us to Thaymount.

  
**CHAPTER 5**  


Finally, all the soul casings that will open Nefris's door. It was a long, arduous task collecting all four, but after everything not only do we have them, but with a bit of negotiation with those blasted demons in the instructors' quarters, there is now a chance to restore Ammon to his natural state. I look at Safiya. "This will work right?"

"I don't see why not, we do this sort of thing… well… not all the time, but regularly enough that I feel no apprehension," she says. I look back at Ammon, and I realise I'm holding my breath. I step forward, holding the glass ball in my hand. I bring the soul casing closer to him, and now, as with the mage before who was holding the surrogate soul for Nefris, the soul seems to just slip back into its body.

Ammon Jerro opened his eyes and I saw the recognition flicker into them as I stared back. "I am… still alive, yes? No… I recognise this room now. The things that go on here… the hells haven't even dreamt of them yet." He seems to be talking more to himself, but then he turns, his sharp eyes focussing on me, "And you have survived despite my failure to prevent your abduction. I suppose I should be relieved. Yet I get the sense that you have not journeyed into the heart of Thay on my account." He sat up, rather too quickly for the fact that a moment ago he was lacking a soul, but if the warlock was dizzy or weak, it didn't show. He glanced around the room, his eyes settling last on Bishop and his face transformed into a snarl. "You!" he growled and I place a hand on his shoulder to stop him getting up.

"Feeling better Jerro?" Bishop smirks and I glare at him.

"Bishop, now is not the time," I say sternly. He merely looks at me and shrugs, and turns his mocking gaze back to Ammon.

"What is that traitor doing here?" Jerro snarls. He doesn't wait for an answer. "No matter, I'll soon send him back where he belongs…" He closes his eyes and I can feel the air start to crackle as he begins to draw power.

"Ammon, no!" He opens his eyes, and the magic disperses harmlessly. "He's with us now, I won't allow a fight, especially not here."

Jerro glares at Bishop but nods stiffly, although I can see the hatred in his eyes. He asks no questions of me as he tears his angry gaze away from Bishop, dismissing him as he says, "So a plot was set in motion after all... and my failure has brought doom upon you. It seems that calamity still follows in my wake, even in victory." He sighs and his shoulders slump a little. "I presume you would like to know how I ended up here?"

I nod. "But only if you feel strong enough," I say, trying to be sympathetic. I hear Bishop snort derisively and I throw him a hard look to which he merely raises an eyebrow at me.

Ammon Jerro seems oblivious to this exchange and says, "When the King of Shadows fell, and everything around us was flung into chaos, I saw you being dragged away. The dwarf gave chase, but your abductors correctly assessed his intelligence and managed to lead him astray. As the only other witness not unconscious or dead, I followed them. Your level of notoriety inevitably draws dangerous beings to your doorstep. For all I knew, you'd made a new enemy who intended to pick up where the King of Shadows left off. Also I was not... anxious to see such a fate befall a worthy ally. Your captors went through a portal to the Shadow Plane. On the other side, I was ambushed by the headmistress of this infernal place." I notice Safiya stiffen at the mention of her mother, but Ammon doesn't notice as he continues, "She remembered me from a time when I'd studied here... enough that she knew to deal with me quickly and without mercy. That was the last I saw of you... or anyone else. I was brought here and detained after that. And then... A procedure was performed upon me... leaving me as you found me." He sighs, seeing the unspoken questions in my eyes. "Most are dead now. A few survived the collapse, but I was not able to linger long enough to check on their conditions."

My insides tremble at the thought that so many of my companions are dead, and I take a deep breath to steady myself. "Could you tell me the fate of those you saw Ammon?" I ask. He studies me intently and replies, "I can only tell you what I saw in the few moments before I left in search of you. How much do you remember?"

I think back to the blur that was the temple of shadows collapsing. "Little," I say. I remember what happened to some of them, but others…" I shake my head.

Jerro nods and asks, "Whose fate did you hope to learn?" My new companions' eyes are on me and even Bishop is trying hard not to display a certain amount of interest. Inevitably this brings back memories of the last I saw of him before he walked away from Garius… from me. I try to focus my thoughts.

"Neeshka," I say.

"She lives," he replied, and my heart leaps in joy, "I do not know if it was that coin of hers, or someone watching over her from below, but she avoided missteps at every turn. She leaped over every crevice, tumbled past every rock. She was out in front of us when the final collapse occurred - a wall of debris may have been all that prevented her from joining me in your pursuit." I smile. Neeshka's stubborn personality would never have let the gargoyles take me unless she had been physically prevented from following. I move on.

"What about Sand?"

Jerro smirks, "The mage's gift for transmutation may have saved him. As the roof caved in, I heard him reciting words of magic... one of his favoured spells. I am fairly certain he finished before the worst of the rubble fell. If he chose his form carefully - an iron golem, say - there is a good chance he lives." Sand of course would never have been anything other than careful and I knew there was likely nothing I had to worry about.

"Grobnar."

"For some inexplicable reason, the gnome threw himself across that golem of his to protect it from harm as a pillar fell atop the both of them. I did not have long to look, but I saw neither of them stir beneath it." I sigh. Grobnar always had more courage than sense, and I guess I shouldn't really have been surprised that he didn't survive. That didn't stop the pain twisting my heart as I remembered his stupid songs and obsession with the Wendersnaven.

"Khelgar," I whisper. Of all of them, Khelgar was with me the longest, and I couldn't bear to think that something had happened to the Ironfist dwarf.

"He lives." Oh, the relief that flooded through my body. "It is for the best he did not find the portal to the realm of shadows - I do not think Nefris would have afforded him the clemency she gave me." I see Safiya open her mouth to protest and I shake my head slightly. She backs down, her mouth hardening. Now is not the time for an argument about whether or not her mother was a nice person, I think to myself, although I was inclined to agree with Jerro's opinion of the matter. Although I never knew Nefris, by all accounts she was a pragmatic person, and I didn't think it likely that she would have allowed Khelgar to interfere with her plans, whatever they were.

"Zhjaeve."

"Of the githzerai I know nothing," Ammon says. "I did not see her body amidst the refuse, nor did I see the direction she took as we fled." Then I come to the name that causes me the most discomfort and I glance at Bishop out of the corner of my eye.

"Casavir." My voice chokes a little at his name and I see Bishop stiffen. I can't tell whether or not he's hoping his rival is dead, or whether it is the memory of Casavir's steadfast support as opposed to his own betrayal that makes him react this way, but wisely he says nothing.

Ammon Jerro, as aware as any of my companions of the rivalry between them, glares at Bishop as he says, "His back gave out as he stood under a collapsing doorway, trying to keep it intact so the rest of us might pass through it. It seemed a fitting end for one who followed his chivalrous convictions with such abandon... which makes me think it was perhaps not to his own dissatisfaction." Ammon continues to glare at Bishop as he says this, challenging him to say something, I'm sure looking for an excuse to start a fight, but Bishop merely glares back. I take a vindictive pleasure in his discomfort at Casavir's name, but that doesn't lessen the pain I feel at the paladin's death.

My knees feel weak and I sink down onto the bed opposite Ammon. "So many dead," I say my voice trembling, "All because of me."

Ammon's voice is harsh as he says, "Then perhaps it is better that I spare you from the recollection of a disastrous experience. I have had to learn not to dwell on my own losses. I do not wish to make it more difficult for you to deal with the same." His voice softens slightly, "Together we once achieved a goal none thought possible... but that was a shared purpose. To what end would you enlist my services now, when my foe is vanquished?" His expression grows distant. "I find myself... unfocused... with my life's ambition now fulfilled. To once again have a cause to which I might put my abilities to use... it is something I would soon regret passing up." He looks again at me, "I do not deny that without you I may have failed to eliminate the threat from the Mere of Dead Men. If you consider this to be fair payment, then it is done. There was a time when your offer would have appealed to me. Indeed, I would have been willing to give up much for such advancement. But I am without a cause that requires that sacrifice now, and things have... changed in the time since we first crossed paths." Although not voiced, the question hangs in the air… All I have to do is ask…

I look up at him. "Ammon, you will join me won't you? At least for a short time?" Bishop's eyes narrow but again he says nothing, knowing that this is my decision, no matter how he might feel. His aversion to Ammon lies more in his own guilt of course, and the constant reminder that Jerro represents.

Ammon sighs and glances up at the ranger triumphantly. "Very well. I will remain with you here until your business at this school is complete. Afterward... we may discuss that when we come to it."

I smile at him gratefully. "Thank you. Even though I know it might be… difficult," I glance over at Bishop who is studiously avoiding my gaze even though I can see the angry set of his shoulders, "I appreciate it."

Jerro nods curtly. "Then we should leave. Do not worry needlessly about me, I am well enough to travel." He looks over at Bishop who merely stares back belligerently, his face curled into a sneer.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You asked the warlock to join us!?" Bishop argues.

"Bishop this is my decision, not yours, and you have no right to argue with me," I say calmly, anticipating his reaction.

"He was the cause of much of the trouble we had before! He killed Shandra, his own granddaughter!" Bishop hisses, although I know this is a not so subtle attempt to divert attention from the argument he can see coming.

"Do you really want me to remind you of who is more trustworthy here?" I snap.

He narrows his eyes. "We talked about that," he says stiffly.

"Yes, we did," I say, "but that doesn't change what happened. People still died, and sides were taken…" I hear the hiss of his indrawn breath here and I cut off his argument, talking over him, "no matter the consequences or the situation now." I stop suddenly and I look at him. "Things are different now, but even so now as then, you're going to have to learn to deal with all the people in our party. Not everything revolves around your desires." He glares at me, eyes narrowed, brow creased, seemingly on the verge of retorting, but as I start walking again, he follows silently. The argument appears to be over for now, although I know he won't forget or fail to bring it up later, however for the moment I've won and I savour the small victory at finally getting Bishop to shut up. I glance back and see Gann following closely, a small smile on his lips and I have to stop smiling myself, knowing that Bishop will become even more irate if he thinks I'm laughing at him.

We walk into the headmistress's quarters, and I approach the door with the four glass globes in hand. They slot into place easily, and the door swings open. I see a portal shimmering on the other side and I step forward to enter, when a voice from behind interrupts,

"The door is finally open Araman. We have waited and done all you asked." I spin around, and find myself confronted by the Academy masters, headed up by Araman. The same master that spoke before says, "I told you, the girl doesn't deserve this. We do it quickly and mercifully, or I'll have no part…" Araman holds up a hand, cutting him off. "Silence. Wait."

"Araman!" Safiya glares at him, and raises herself up to her full height. She opens her mouth to find out what his part in all of this is, when he speaks first, "I owe you the wages of your treachery... A dream... or a memory? Is there anything left of you, inside that hollow shell? Do you know my face... the face of a brother who once ran laughing in your wake? My smiles have faded, and your face has changed many times, but something of you must still remain..."

I realise he is speaking to me, or rather to Akachi, the presence waiting inside me. I refrain from answering, watching instead the reactions of the Thaymount masters behind him. They are looking at each other nervously… they want to get this slaughter over with. One of them steps forward,

"We do this quickly, as we agreed. Or I'll have no part of-" Araman ignores him, speaking still to Akachi, "Not of your body no. That part of you belongs to another. But look deeper. Cast off the mask, if you can."

This seems like a bizarre statement. "What lunacy…?" I ask.

"Araman, what is this?" another master asks. "With respect, I see no reason to play yet more games with-"

Araman doesn't seem aware of the others in the room, he is speaking fervently to the presence within me, his brother. "Cast your eyes back to Rasheman... to home." He then directs his attention to me… the host, "Leave this place now, and none will hinder you. Beyond that door, you may find truth... but also folly. A folly that will sunder the planes, and render meaningless all that you have suffered."

"I cannot do that Araman. I must discover the truth and rid myself of this curse." I say. He sighs.  
"Then I cannot protect you any further. My fight lies elsewhere... and not with you." Araman takes a last look at me, and then turns and leaves.

A mutter goes up from the masters present, and one of them hisses, "He is mad. Madder than Nefris ever was." He turns to the others. "Come... let's make an end to this, before he changes his mind.

Safiya sees Djafi standing uncertainly at the back. "Master Djafi, please! You and I, we live with Thayan ambition and treachery all around us - it taints our actions. But I know that our friendship was never a lie." Djafi hesitates and she presses on, "I know you stood by... watched as they murdered my mother. I know you must think that condemns you to their side, but it doesn't... they would have killed you for opposing them... You are the same man who comforted a frightened girl, terrified of the voices in her mind. And taught her to craft little chattering creatures of twigs and clay... real voices to drown out the false."

Djafi sighs. "You shame me, my dear. Surviving has become a habit - if I am to break it, you are the best of reasons." Djafi crosses over to stand with us and I smile at him gratefully. He somehow seems less the weak fool than he did when I first met him, and I think Safiya has assuaged his guilt.

The master who spoke first narrows his eyes, "Fine. We'll appoint another in your place, Djafi - a Wizard with more sense, and fewer wrinkles."

The air crackles as without warning, spells fly across the room. Ammon Jerro throws up barriers and Safiya attacks her former colleagues without hesitation. And then I am thrown into battle, my swords flying, as I slash, stab, parry and everything blurs… moments coming into sharp focus only to blur again at another attack. I am only vaguely aware of Bishop, his bowstring thrumming as arrow after arrow finds its mark and Gann who summons lightning and fire, damaging hastily thrown up shields. It crosses my mind in a moment of clarity as I slash and attack, that these wizards may be some of the best in Thay, however they have never learned to fight through coordination, and more often than not seem to get in each other's way, making the attack that much easier for us. Eventually, the last of the spells fizzle out, and as the smoke clears from Nefris's decimated quarters, I look at the chaos that has taken place. Safiya's face is grim and I wonder how hard it must be to see her former colleagues like this, even though they were responsible for her mother's death. She meets my gaze defiantly.

"Well… Are we going through that portal?"

  
**CHAPTER 6**  


Bishop  
"Gods damn you, stop doing that!" I shout, banging my hand down on the table, but the damned hagspawn just looks back at me.

"And what exactly am I supposed to be doing ranger?" he asks mildly, as if he didn't know. But as I open my mouth to explain I realise how stupid it sounds, and this just makes me more irritated. I glare at him, eyes narrowed.

"You know what you're doing. Reading my dreams, my reactions, watching me, us…" my voice chokes a little and I hate myself for it, "her…" Irritating as ever, he just smiles…

"You want me to deny my nature ranger? My feelings? As you deny yours? I am what I am, I can't change that."

"You know what I mean you damnable piece of…" I stop. "I see the way you watch her… and so help me…"

"What?" He says, raising an eyebrow and I hear an edge in his calm voice I've never noticed.

"What will you do? She knows what she is better than you do… in fact I think she knows what you are better than you, so don't try and tell me what you're going to do…" I stare at him, amazed at this uncharacteristic outburst, and memories come rushing back. I burst out laughing, and as my laughter borders on hysteria, the hagspawn raises an eyebrow and looks at me like I'm crazy… In fact I feel a little crazy. I gain some control over myself and look up to see him watching me, an amused smile on his face.

"You going to tell me what's so funny?" he grins. "If I didn't know better I'd think you have some sort of personality disorder." I hear the irony in his voice. I can't really blame him I suppose. I chuckle again, this time maintaining the grip on my laughter.

"I remember having this same conversation with the paladin in Neverwinter," I say, "but last time I was on the opposite side…" I grin wryly. "I never thought I would see the day where I agreed with Casavir. I was arguing that she knew her own mind and he was trying to tell me what was best for her, that I should just leave her alone…"

I slip into silence, brooding, thinking about the fates of the others and wondering… if I hadn't betrayed them… betrayed her… how things would have been different. There's a strange feeling inside me, and it take me a moment to recognise it. It's regret. Gann merely sits back and watches me, surely reading my thoughts as my emotions flit over my face. I'm too tired to hold them in check for once, and I wish that it wasn't the companion I hate most that was present.

"No matter what you might think… I do love her…" I sigh and run my hand through my hair as I lean back and stare at the ceiling, just to avoid looking at him. "…and I curse myself every day for what I did… but… I did it because I love her… I was trying to save her… the only way I knew how…" My excuse sounds pathetic, even to me, and I look at the hagspawn, expecting to see the scorn in his eyes that I feel for myself. Instead I see understanding, and briefly I wonder if I've misjudged him.

No, I think, just because he doesn't reciprocate the hate I feel for him doesn't mean he wouldn't stab me in the back to be with her. I would do the same.

He studies me. "I know you do Bishop. And twisted as they are… I understand your reasons. It doesn't make them right, but I understand them." I stare at him open-mouthed, for once lost for words. No wonder she's attracted to this man… He's so… I shudder at the sentimentality of this word… deep… Who would have though the hag bastard of all people would be the one I would be talking to about her? And at that moment I really do see it… I see the love that is there between them… acknowledged and denied at the same time…

"I…" I'm lost for words, my mind churning… The thoughts that are there won't form, and I feel like an idiot, struck dumb. I close my eyes. This will be easier if you don't have to look at him.

"I… see now… both of you…" and I hear a soft chuckle from Gann. I open my eyes. He's watching me, studying my expressions. "I see why she loves you," I say, my voice a strangled gasp, and a strange look comes over Gann's face.

"Does she?" he asks, a touch of irony in his voice. "She's never said anything…" An uncharacteristic look of uncertainty clouds his features. Suddenly I have to laugh at the absurdity of it all, and as I start to chuckle, Gann joins in. The two of us begin to laugh loudly and peripherally I notice the rest of the group looking over at us with puzzled expressions, watching two enemies laugh together like old friends. Eventually the laughter subsides and for once we sit together in companionable silence.

"How do you do it?" I say at last.

"Do what?" he asks.

"Watch her… and…" suddenly I feel uncomfortable asking him this as I realise the role I play in this scenario, but I persevere. "And not get jealous?"

He looks at me, an amused expression in his eyes. "You think I'm not jealous? You think I don't mind that she goes to sleep every night and it's you in her bed and not me?" I look down at the table, uncomfortable. "Bishop," he sighs and I look up at the sound of my name, "it's not that I don't get jealous, it's just that I hide it so much better than you. Don't take offence, and I say this because I know you will if I don't explain, but I have more self control." I look up sharply, and since he has already anticipated this reaction, his hands go up in supplication.

"You don't know anything about my self control Gann," I growl and he opens his mouth to argue but I cut him off. "Perhaps it appears to you, who doesn't know anything about me other than my seemingly fucked up relationship with Sennah, that I have no self control… But you have no idea how long I resisted getting into a relationship with her in the first place, knowing that I was wrong for her, that all I would do would be to hurt her and cause her gods knows how much pain…." I draw a deep breath, my breathing ragged at the emotions that are coursing through me. "Perhaps I don't hide my anger or jealousy well, or perhaps I hide it behind other emotions, but from the moment I met her we had a connection and I had to fight for weeks against the urge to hold her and protect her, which goes against everything in my nature…" My voice is harsh, bitter and angry.

Gann nods and murmurs, "I apologise ranger… for my last comment at least. Indeed that must have taken a huge effort…" I look up sharply to see if he is being sarcastic, but there is no hint of it evident in his expression. He smiles ruefully instead, "And I know how you feel… The loss of you damaged her badly…" I shift uncomfortably as he continues, "So much so that even when you weren't around I was careful even though there was a something between us…" He sighs. "Now that you're back of course…" Gann spreads his hands wide, and I understand what he means. Any chances he had of deepening the connection between them have been shattered by my return. Suddenly I feel selfish, another emotion so unfamiliar that again it takes me a second to realise what it is. Who am I to deny her a more normal chance at happiness, when all I've offered her is pain? I care not for Gann's happiness when it is dependent on me being away from Sennah and I would never willingly go through that again, but for Sennah's happiness? What would I be willing to do? To go through? To give up?

"I have… a proposition… to make…" I say slowly, although my heart is contracting and I am in physical pain. Gann looks at me, his expression thoughtful.

"Well now… not that I can't say I haven't experimented before, but I must admit Bishop, I didn't think you were the type…" he says, a smile curling at the edges of his mouth.

My face goes hot. "Not that," I hiss, although my head is unwillingly filled with images of the three of us in bed together and I pause perhaps a moment too long so that Gann's smile grows wider at my discomfort.

"What I was going to suggest, was for want of a better word, a competition… no, no, that's wrong… rather, an equal chance…" I look up, hoping I haven't angered him before he hears me out, but his expression is merely thoughtful.

"What exactly did you have in mind?"

I pause again, wondering exactly how to articulate my thoughts. "You understand I'm not doing this for you?" I growl and the shaman looks amused, but nods. "All I want is for her to be happy… and if that happiness lies with you… well…" I sigh, "so be it…"

"What makes you think Sennah would agree to this?" Gann asks. I close my eyes as the pain of my next thought tugs at my heart.

"Because I see the way she looks at you hagspawn," I say softly, "and… the way you look at her. I see my expression reflected in your own, and…" I grit my teeth, "I would want someone to give me the chance to deepen our connection if I were in your place."

I open my eyes and look up sharply. "I know she loves me," I say, my voice hard again. "But… I'm willing to give her the chance to love you too… And to see what happens, without guilt on her part."

Gann says nothing and the silence stretches, so long that I want to clear my throat just to break the tension, but I let it continue. Finally he stirs. "That's very generous of you ranger." I can hear the effort it is taking him to keep control of his voice, and I know he must be thinking of the possibilities… I certainly would be. "Perhaps we should discuss this with her? Before we compete over her like schoolboys that is…" He looks up, a smile in his dark eyes. I smile back…

"Certainly." And my smile is far more confident than I feel.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You want to do what?!" I say, my voice perhaps a little two loud, and there is a lull in the conversation as people look over at me. Bishop pulls me down into a chair abruptly and leans forward.

"Now Sennah, don't overreact," he says calmly and I can hear that ever-present note of coercion in his voice.

"Don't overreact!?" I hiss. "You want to… share… me! And you don't want me to overreact?" I notice the two of them exchange a sheepish look.

"I told you that was how she'd see it," Gann says and I suddenly realise that this was Bishop's idea. Strangely this thought calms me a little – Bishop would never advocate sharing me, so there must be more to this… I look at him sharply.

"Bishop, I know this was your idea," he doesn't meet my eyes, "so perhaps you better explain…" My voice is low, but not angry, and he realises this as he looks up and meets my gaze. He clears his throat, nervously… odd for him…

"Right… Way I see it…" he stops and takes a breath. "Sennah, I love you… more than I think you'll ever know…" I smile at him uncertainly, knowing he didn't call me here to profess his love for me in front of the person he hates most in the group.

"Bishop…" I start, but he holds up a hand. I sit back and wait for him to continue.

"Let me finish. I love you… but… I see the way you look at him… and the way he looks at you…" I open my mouth, the protests on my tongue cut short as he says, "That doesn't change the way I feel about you. I just thought…" He is uncertain, and my heart goes out to him, but I don't want to interrupt again. I put my hand over his and he absently strokes it with his thumb. He starts again. "I thought… that you should give Gann an equal chance… without feeling guilty because of me." He looks up, suddenly meeting my gaze steadily and I can see the sincerity in his face. I look over at Gann, who is merely watching calmly as always.

"Gann?" I say, not sure what else to say.

"Yes Sennah?" he asks.

"I…" I start again, "You…? Oh shit…" Somehow my expletive breaks the tension and Bishop laughs.

I look at him as he says, "My love I'm giving you, and the hagspawn here, an opportunity to explore this… whatever it is you think you have… that everyone can see…" My face goes hot and I can feel my ears burning… Were my feelings that obvious? Gann reaches over and places his hand over mine and Bishop's and Bishop suddenly withdraws his hand, his face turning red. I can't stop to wonder at his reaction, as I am acutely aware of Gann's hand on mine.

"What he's offering love," I blush at his use of the word, "is an equal chance… if you want it…?"

I look uncertainly at Bishop, who is suddenly looking very uncomfortable, and then back at Gann, who gazes back… and as always I am drawn into his eyes. Aware that I don't know how long we've been staring at each other, it can't have been more than a few seconds but it seems like forever, I break away, my heart thudding loudly.

"Bishop… Are you sure?" I ask.

After a moment he nods, his jaw tight and I can see the effort this has cost him. "Thank you…" I say softly. Then, "I need a drink…" I get up. "You boys want anything?"

"Ale," they say in unison.

"I'll be right back," I smile and I can feel both sets of eyes on me as I walk away. I hear Gann say softly, "Game on, ranger…" and Bishop snorts in reply.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm standing staring out the window, watching the rain. I've had just enough to drink so that my personality turns brooding, but not enough that I'm drunk enough to cry or flirt... it's an uncomfortable feeling. I hear a soft tread behind me, quiet, but not silent. "Hello Gann," I say without turning around. I hear him chuckle softly.

"How did you know it was me and not him?" he asks, and he thinks he already knows the answer.

I laugh softly. "I don't think the reply is the one you're thinking of, and I don't know if it will be to your liking…" He merely raises an eyebrow. "Bishop wouldn't have made any noise…" I explain. "You're good Gann, but… he's better…"

For the first time I see Gann look uncertain, and I realise how that could have been interpreted. I feel the blood rise to my face. "Gann, I didn't mean… oh shit, I'm just messing this up…" I sigh, and rub my hand through my hair. "Ok… let's start again… I'm sorry, I didn't mean that how it came out…"

Gann looks a bit awkward, but he nods. "Agreed. Let's start over…" He smiles and unconsciously reaches out to smooth my hair. The familiarity of the gesture seems natural and I reach up and catch his hand before it falls. The hiss of his indrawn breath strikes me with an urge to feel his arms around me. Bishop's face flashes into my mind and I remind myself that this is with his consent, I have no need to feel guilty. I realise that without knowing I have stepped closer to Gann, until I can feel his ragged breath on my hair, moving down towards my neck as he lowers his head. He doesn't kiss me, but merely rests his lips against the hollow of my neck, and I can feel his body shaking with tension and desire, but he restrains himself admirably. I don't know if I can be as strong, but I hold still, waiting, my body as taut as a bowstring.

"Sennah, I…" he draws a shaky breath. "I don't know how to tell you… I've never felt…" I can feel the confusion in his thoughts, I share a large part of that confusion, but I know exactly what he is trying to say… He doesn't need words.

"Gann, it's easy to say in a dream… but in reality?" I close my eyes and concentrate on his skin pressed against mine, feeling my own desire rise. "You don't need to say it… I know…" And I press my lips softly against his throat. He groans, turns his head and kisses my neck. My skin tingles, and I stay still, savouring the sensation. We stand like that for an age, until finally, the desire to kiss him overrides everything else and I turn my head. I drown in his eyes…

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bishop.  
I watch Gann approach her as she stands brooding, staring out the window. I know that look all too well, know that she tends towards it when she's had a bit to drink. She is standing at a window in the next room, but I am in a good position to watch unnoticed. I see the awkward exchange and feel a small amount of satisfaction that is quickly erased by their embrace. I watch them stand there, holding each other, saying nothing… watch him kiss her neck but nothing more and feel a pang of jealousy. Not that it's him and not me, although of course I wish it were… but rather that I don't match every part of her… that there is someone else so right for her in ways that I simply cannot fulfil. Again I feel satisfaction in knowing that it's the same for him… but… I want to tear my eyes away but I can't. I continue to watch, continue to torture myself as a small voice in my head tells me I deserve this pain for what I did. I want to take my offer back, to tell her I've changed my mind, he can't have her… but I see her expression, see her light up when he looks at her… and so I say nothing.

As she finally turns to him and he lowers his mouth onto hers, a part of my heart crumbles. Not because she is no longer exclusively mine, although that hurts badly enough, but because I know that I deserve it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

His kiss is soft, tender and undemanding. So different. I am lost… I don't know what to do and I feel like a teenager again, awkward. I realise that I am so used to Bishop that I don't know what to do, don't know how to react to this strange, new kiss… but I try to relax and enjoy it, awkward or no. He presses me harder against him as his desire grows, and I allow my body to mould against his, his chest hard like Bishop's… gods why was I comparing… but leaner. He pulls away from me, gasping, trying to gain some control…

"Sennah…" he says, his voice raw with desire, and I press a finger to his lips.

"Shhhh…" I take him by the hand and lead him to my quarters.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bishop.  
They walk away, of course I know where they are going, and the pain hits me hard, like a punch in the gut. I grimace and turn away, back to my drink. I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I think to myself, that with any luck I'll pass out where I sit. I am staring morosely into my ale, as I attempt to drown my sorrows, when Safiya sits down next to me.

"It hurts doesn't it?" she says softly.

I glare at her. "What do you know about it wizard? Come to gloat?" I sneer, hoping she'll go away and leave me to my mood, but she doesn't.

"It was an… admirable… thing you did Bishop," she says, "putting her happiness before your own, no matter the consequences…"

I grunt, not willing to say any more and reveal the physical pain I'm in to Safiya, who seems to hate me so much more than any of the others. Nevertheless she knows and she squeezes my shoulder. I flinch but she doesn't let go. "Things will work themselves out… one way or another, have faith…" she says.

At that I look up at her. "Faith, wizard?" I grimace. "Surely you must know from Sennah's dreams… and if my own are anything to go by… I have no faith… and we all know where I'll end up."

She looks at me steadily. "Have you ever thought that perhaps this is the place to start ranger?" She gazes at me for a moment longer, her small hand resting heavily on my shoulder before walking away. I watch her for a second and when the pain in my heart overwhelms me again I turn back to my ale.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I awake, still a bit sleepy, and I turn my head towards the face lying next to me, momentarily surprised that it's Gann and not Bishop, and then I lie back, content as the events of the evening play themselves over again in my head. Gann's hands, soft, tender… His kisses, exploring every part of my body, marvelling at the fact that he was with me at all as weeks of pent up desire for both of us finally culminated in hours of love-making. My thoughts turn to Bishop, and I can't help but compare… Stop it, I think, this is not about comparison, this is about connections with people, exploring the possibilities… but again, I think how different they are, and yet… there are similarities. The arrogance for one… and I laugh softly to myself. Gann stirs, but doesn't wake and merely rolls towards me, his warm skin pressing against mine. I wrap my arms around him as my thoughts turn inward again.

  
**CHAPTER 7**

The evening is raucous, full of celebration. The spiriteater is gone, Akachi laid to rest, my soul restored and I feel whole and rested for the first time in months… but with that comes the knowledge of an impending choice that I must make… And I've resolved to put it out of my mind for a few days… Let everything calm down I think to myself… and then we'll see what happens. After everything, somehow this now seems the harder quest…

Bishop and Gann seem to be on reasonable terms tonight, as is everyone else, the euphoria of the victory has even made Kaelyn let her guard down for once and she is dancing and flirting like any normal person… well… any normal person with huge angels wings… A number of the men there seem to find that quite attractive too…

The wine flows thick and fast and I feel myself becoming drunker. At one point I find myself gulping down large glasses of water, trying desperately to clear my head and make sure I don't fall down after a few more drinks. Safiya finally plonks herself down next to me as I stand at the bar, steadying myself against the blurry room.

"You ok?" she laughs and I grin back.

"I'm great! Just a little drunk," I giggle. "I'm trying to pace myself a bit at this point… trying not to fall over!" She grins again.

"Well I've had quite a bit myself! And I don't normally indulge much… it certainly is a cause for celebration though…" She looks out across the room and I see a sly look cross her face as she looks at me out of the corner of her eye. "So… on this night of celebration…" she smiles at me cheekily, "which one of those drunken louts are you going to take to your bed?" I look out to see them downing ale after ale together whilst people crowd around, egging them on. I laugh.

"At this rate it might be neither!"

Safiya smiles slyly again and I wonder what she is thinking. "Or perhaps both…?"

I blush, I can't deny I haven't considered the possibility, and we both giggle. I refrain from answering, trying to avoid making any sort of decision that involves either of them at this point. Safiya doesn't push me for an answer, content to sit and watch the room and the band as they strike up a jig in the corner. By and by, a handsome man I've noticed watching us from the corner of the room makes his way over to us. Safiya watches him cautiously, albeit a little blurrily after all the wine, as he stops in front of us and clears his throat nervously.

"Good evening ladies," he says, his voice deep and pleasing to my very drunken ears.  
I smile back and Safiya looks at him curiously but says nothing. He clears his throat again and glances at her shyly. "I was wondering if you might honour me with a dance beautiful Thayan?"

Safiya's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and where she would ordinarily say no, she is taken off guard and accepts. As he takes her hand and leads her away she shoots a look at me over her shoulder, and I notice smugly that it's one of pleasure, not her usual imposing expression.

A moment after Safiya leaves, the seats on either side of me are occupied. I look around and see Bishop and Gann flanking me, both looking rather drunk, but endeavouring to appear casual. "Enjoying yourself my beautiful thief?" the ranger asks. I smile at him cheekily, emboldened by the wine.

"So far." I say. "Although of course the evening isn't over yet…"

He grins back at me and puts an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him as he kisses me unexpectedly softly on the lips. The wine has worked its usual tricks and the feeling of desire rises quickly as his tongue slips into my mouth. Suddenly I feel another mouth on the back of my neck and I gasp in surprise and pleasure as shivers run down my spine. I turn my head and see Gann's long hair falling loose as he moves his mouth onto my shoulder and bites gently. I groan softly and turn back to look at Bishop, expecting to see his usual jealous expression when it's anything involving Gann, but he merely smiles seductively at me. I realise suddenly that this is something they've agreed on, perhaps even what the drinking competition was about, and I wonder briefly who won…

I close my eyes and feel Bishop's lips press against mine, Gann's against the back of my neck, his fingers softly tracing the contours of my shoulder and running down my arm. Bishop's arm tightens round my waist as his kiss becomes more demanding, full of the desire I feel myself at this point. I break away, gasping, my head spinning from the wine and the unexpectedness of this situation. "Perhaps we should take this somewhere more private," I say softly, barely able to get the words out. Both of them break away and Bishop looks at Gann over my shoulder and then nods, neither speaking a word. I take a deep breath and reach for my wine glass, draining the last of it in a single gulp. I hop down from the stool and make my way unsteadily across the room, not stopping to look behind me to see if they are following, or if anyone is watching, although I don't doubt that more than one person has noticed the exchange. I vaguely notice Safiya walking out of the room with the man who asked her to dance and I smile to myself… He obviously wasn't so bad after all…

I make my way to my quarters, and only as I open the door and step inside, leaning against the table as I try to steady my breathing, do I turn to see if they've followed me. Both are standing in the doorway and Bishop closes the door softly behind us. He stops and leans against the door, closing his eyes briefly as Gann steps forward, kissing me hard, his mouth unusually demanding and fierce. I wrap my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in his long, silken hair. I hear Bishop move away from the door, but can't concentrate on what he is doing, until I feel him come up behind me and kiss my neck, one of his hands sliding my shirt off my shoulder as his other hand slips under it, caressing my stomach and sliding up towards my breasts. Gann breaks away from the kiss and leans his head towards my other shoulder, kissing and biting softly. I close my eyes and lean my head back against Bishop's shoulder, my heart beating so fast I feel sure it's going to explode out of my chest. My skin tingles and I feel hot, after a while unable to differentiate whose hands are where, swept away on the current of sensation and emotion that course through me as the two men I care most about in the world explore my body in unison.

Somehow my clothes are on the floor and I stand naked before them. Now this just won't do I think… and reach out to strip the clothes from both of them, but then Gann kneels in front of me. I gasp as his tongue explores me, one hand reaching up and teasing my nipple whilst Bishop lowers his head and draws the other into his mouth. I can feel the heat and hardness of him pressing against me as Gann's fingers enter me, sliding in and out and rubbing in places that send jolts shooting through me. When I am finally gasping for breath, every nerve in my body tingling and my knees feel weak, Gann rises. I slip my arms around him, lifting his shirt over his head and start to unfasten his breeches. Gann turns his back to me as he starts to remove Bishop's clothing. Bishop doesn't protest, but merely stands quietly as the shaman's deft fingers pull the laces from his shirt and remove it, exposing Bishop's muscled chest. Moments later all clothes are on the floor and we tumble towards the bed.

This was my first time in this situation. The kind of event I had fantasised about, but never had the courage or the opportunity to explore before now. Both men were focussed entirely on me, and although I got the feeling that Gann was far more open to experimentation than the ranger, he neither said nor did anything to make Bishop uncomfortable, rather focussing his attention on co-operating with Bishop to please me. I explored their bodies simultaneously, as legs and arms and flesh intertwined in a sinuous discovery of pleasure.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I wake up, my head spinning and my mouth dry. It's early; the light is still dim although I can hear birds singing outside the window. I close my eyes again as I feel faintly nauseous and recall all the wine I drank the night before. And then I recall the rest of the night and my heartbeat doubles in speed. My eyes snap open… and I sit up, perhaps a little too fast… oh, that was a bad idea…. I close my eyes and lie down again, trying not to throw up and ignore the dull ache at the back of my head. Eventually the worst of the nausea passes and I sit up again, slower this time and open my eyes. Clothes are strewn around the room and I turn to look at the sleeping figures beside me. Gann's face is relaxed, his long hair splayed out on the pillow, silken as always and he doesn't appear to have noticed my sudden movement. Bishop lies on the other side of me, his face creased in its usual frown and he mutters and twitches in his sleep.  
I briefly wonder what everyone else will think, and then realise I don't really care. Last night was one of the best nights I've ever had. Apart from the excitement of the physical experimentation, to be able to have both of them there, not competing over me was fulfilling and I feel happy. I lie down again, my back to Bishops chest and he murmurs and throws his arm over me heavily.

The bed isn't really big enough for three and so I have no trouble reaching out and putting my arm over Gann, who simply stirs slightly but again, doesn't wake. My thoughts turn again to the idea of the three of us, and I wonder if it can last… if there really is a future for all of us together… or if I will have to choose… and whom would I choose? Suddenly I realise that not only do I have to make a decision about Gann and Bishop… but… that it's over… the spiriteater is gone… and I have survived. Strangely I feel anxious. I have been following a cause, a quest for so long that now that I have nothing to do… something I have yearned for, for I don't know how long… I feel lost… Where do I go? Crossroad Keep? Neverwinter? West Harbor? Or… somewhere else… somewhere quiet, with no distractions… would Bishop follow me there? Would Gann? I close my eyes again… try to ignore my hangover… and slip towards sleep, my dreams troubled by images of my companions, past and present.

I awaken again a few hours later. The sun is slanting in through the window, and it's shining on the bed, making me sweat. I reach out and find my bed empty. I groan and open my eyes, anticipating the onset of the hangover again, but the few extra hours of sleep has made a world of difference. I feel groggy, but not sick anymore and once I have some coffee and some food in my stomach I know I'll feel substantially more human. I look around the room, and notice that it's empty except for me, the clothes that were strewn on the floor now gone. Bishop and Gann must be awake already. I wash, dress and make my way downstairs, trying not to make any sudden movements to set off my headache again.

I walk into the room to see Bishop and Gann sitting talking quietly at a table over cups of coffee. No one else seems to be up yet, and I wonder what time everyone else eventually stumbled to bed. They both look up as I walk in and twin smiles greet me, light and dark, yin and yang. I sit down at the table and take a sip of Bishop's coffee. He likes his the same way I do mine… black, one sugar.

The coffee has already made me feel a bit better. "Gods I needed that… where can I get a cup?" I ask.

"I'll get you one," says Gann, getting up. "Just a moment." He goes off into the kitchen in search of more coffee for me and I pass Bishop's mug back over to him. He cups his hands around it, warming them.

"So…" I say. Bishop looks up at me and smiles, tired but with a naughty look in his eyes.

"So…" he says back. I blush slightly but he says nothing. The silence stretches, but it isn't uncomfortable as we sit, both lost in our thoughts. Eventually he clears this throat. "So… I… uh, guess that the hagspawn isn't quiet as contemptible as I once thought…"

I laugh softly, still staring down at the table. "When will you learn to trust my judgement ranger…?" I look up to find him staring at me intently. He leans over and cups my chin, kissing me softly. "Probably never thief," he whispers. "But know that I'll always be here regardless." He rests his forehead against mine. "I can never forgive myself for what I did… but I'm willing to spend the rest of my faithless life making it up to you…"

My heart starts beating wildly and I start as Gann puts my mug of coffee down on the table, even though he does so softly.

"Thank you," I say and he smiles gently at me. He sits back down and picks up his mug again, sipping slowly. Bishop's hand rests on my leg and we all sit in companionable silence, sipping our coffee.

"What are your plans now Sennah?" Gann asks, and peripherally I see Bishop look up, watching me, waiting for my response.

"I thought…" I stop. I don't really know what I thought. I don't know what I'm going to do. "I don't know," I admit. "I was hoping that uh… maybe one of you had an idea?" They exchange a look, and then Bishop looks at me.

"We thought, perhaps… you'd like to go back to Crossroad Keep? You do have rights to the land there after all, and I'm sure Kana and Nasher would be overjoyed to have you back there…" he says.

"I've thought about it," I admit. "But… I don't really know if I want to deal with all the responsibility of running the Keep… I thought… I don't know… that maybe I could go back to West Harbor," I say, a desperate note that I hate creeping in to my voice.

"Sennah," Gann says gently, "We all know that you'd be stifled in West Harbor. Not to sound cruel… but… most of the people you knew there were killed… do you really feel such a connection to the place, or was it perhaps the people that lived there?"

I say nothing, just stare into my coffee morosely. "He didn't mean to upset you love," Bishop says to me, I'm sure glaring at Gann as he says it. He places his hand over mine as it rests on the table.

I sigh, "I'm not upset…" I look up at the shaman, "and you didn't say anything wrong Gann… It's just that…" my voice breaks slightly and I flush, embarrassed, but not even Bishop sneers at me at this point. "It's just… I don't want people looking to me to always be the hero you know?"  
Gann reaches out and puts his arms around me as I suddenly break down and start crying. A part of me is mortified to be doing this, particularly in front of Bishop, but the bigger part of me that aches at all I've been through in the past months can't stop crying and I sob into Gann's shoulder as he merely holds me and kisses my hair. Eventually the sobs abate but I stay where I am, his arms around me.

"Sennah," Gann whispers, "destiny has plans for you…"

I hear Bishop's irritated grunt at this. I remember all he has done in order to help me carve my own fate and I can't help but agree with him for once. I break away from Gann's embrace.  
"Destiny!?" I say, my voice too loud. "Destiny continuously tries to kill me and stop me living a normal life!" Gann doesn't flinch at my tone but merely sighs. He reaches over and takes my chin gently in his hand, forcing me to look at him.

"You can run from it all you want my love… you can go back to West Harbor, to Neverwinter, to Crossroad Keep, but it's always going to catch up with you." His voice takes on an urgent tone. "You've been marked for great things Sennah T'sha'balala, and nothing you do is going to change that. Your gods watch you, and use you. You can fight it, indeed both of us would love you to fight it…" Peripherally I see Bishop nod to himself, and I have to suppress a smile. "But the fact remains that they will find you… and eventually you will have to submit, even if it's merely to save your own life and the lives of the people you love…" He looks into my eyes, and I know what he says is true… but my head fights it. It's not fair! I think. Don't I deserve some rest after all of this? Some peace?

I look over at Bishop, who meets my gaze, his eyes anguished. "We could run Sennah… my offer still stands." I remember back to a time before the battle of Crossroad Keep. Bishop asked me to go away with him… to leave it all behind. I close my eyes. It's so tempting.

"They would keep coming…" I whisper.

"We would keep fighting…" he says, his voice, low, urgent, "Together…"

I am lost for words, my indecision crippling.

"Sennah…" the shaman's silken voice is soft. I turn to look at him. His eyes are closed, his face set in a mask of concentration as he searches for words. "Bishop and I talked about this while you were asleep. We disagree on the course of action that you should take…" My heart almost stops… it seems my decision is about to be made for me. My insides tremble and I suddenly feel sick again. The thought that I will lose one of them again is terrifying. "But we are agreed on one thing…" I wait, my heart now thudding painfully in my chest, "No matter what you decide, we will both be with you every step of the way." He opens his eyes and looks directly at me. I stare back disbelievingly. I turn to look at Bishop who gazes at me and nods.

"I won't lose you again thief, no matter what you think…" He smiles wryly. "Did you really think you would have to choose?"

I nod, a lump in my throat. Gann laughs softly. "I think we've come to an arrangement," he smirks and I blush again, not quite used to the idea that I can have both of them and they won't fight each other for me.

"So…" I say, finding my voice again. "What now?"

"I think Crossroad Keep would be a good starting point," Bishop says and then smiles thinly, "although I think you might have to convince most people there not to kill me first…" He grimaces and I sigh.

"I think that can be arranged," I smile, "I am a Knight-Captain after all." I drain the last of my coffee. "So I guess I should go get my stuff…" I sigh. "And say goodbye…" I whisper…

Both nod in agreement. I get up and then turn and kiss Gann on the lips, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine as he places his hand gently on my face. I pull away and turn to Bishop, whose mouth finds mine in the natural, familiar kiss I am so used to. I smile as I pull away and two faces grin wryly back at me.

"Meet you back here soon…?" and they both nod. I walk away, my heart light and a grin on my face as I go back to my quarters to collect my things and prepare myself for the journey and the inevitable goodbyes.

END


End file.
